Saturday, July 10, 2010

Tug of War

The harder I try to deny the weaker I become. I love the chase yet I know I'm running down a disastrous road. There can only be one winner, runners up don't get the trophy, the celebration, the loathing. You will be forgotten and life will go on happily ever after without you. The broken promises and endearing words will be the lasting impression of a life once lived. A failed committment to follow the rules, a tug of war with the demons. Who will win?
It doesn't happen overnight, but as the days go by the change becomes harder not to notice. I've poorly tried not to repeat the past, it wasn't suppose to be anything more than a one hit wonder. Yet, overtime it was all I could think about. It consumed every waking moment, until the day I couldn't resist anymore. Hell, surprising is a fabulously place to visit. It would turn out to a utopia of sorts.
For now I'll continue to play the role, continue to throw fuel into the fire, burn bridges and create even stronger ones. Back to the daily grind, to a kitchen that is one hundred and ten degrees, to a cast of characters that make a Danielle Steel novel seem like a Disney movie. Back to people who forget that their grandmother has already died three times. To a prim and proper town that easily could be mistaken for the backdrop of a Stephen King creation.
Welcome to the Love Bites inner circle, Mr. Peterson (oops, innocent spelling error. You already feel like family.) I knew you couldn't resist our seductive charm. I'm a huge fan and I'm not just saying this because I want to house sit or test drive your speed racer.

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