Saturday, July 10, 2010


Life is filled with trials and tribulations. For those that believe in a God, their belief is that their master is testing them. Whether or not you believe in a superior being, you are tested daily. We all get into those ruts, some days are worst than others; some days it is only luck that there is not a loaded weapon in our reach.
Not too long ago, I would get up each morning and there were two bodies lying next to me. One of them would run down stairs with me in the morning while I sipped my coffee and flipped channels to understand what had transpired in the world while I was sleeping. She was beautiful, obedient and always overjoyed to see me. The other warm body was my wife. She too was beautiful, but not always that happy to see For close to two years we were in this rut, going through the motions. We very much loved each other, there was no doubt about that, but we were disconnected. So disconnected, that we became strangers. For two years we tortured each other without saying a word. Don't get me wrong, there was no vindictive behavior, we were just in each other’s way to progress and move on in life. We had become roommates. I was never a fan of roommates; I had one roommate with benefits in college, even that became weird. She wasn't keen on others visiting and sharing in her benefits. In both cases, the expectations were not set. I was wearing myself thin, I became disorganized, my work was suffering, and I was denying myself in life, including those of the female kind. It was unfair to me and to her, we were in the same boat, it had already sunk and we were at the bottom of the ocean. Who will rescue us? Should I leave her to die and save myself? No way, I still loved her; we just weren't in love anymore.
So I did it! "You and I know this is no longer working, we need to end the misery now so that we can still be friends." this was the first time I had seen her cry since my mother died. She hugged and kissed me and said "Thank you, I know". It was over, my heart was heavy but my mind was at rest. Did I cry? Of course I did, here was the woman that was essentially a major part of my success and by tomorrow, she will no longer be here. But it was the only thing to do. There are three traumatic events in my life, my brother dying, my mother dying and calling my marriage quits. Two I had no control over, the last one was my emancipation. It was easily the toughest thing I have done in my life, and definitely the most necessary.
Eighteen months later, where am I at? Both of our lives are flourishing, we are good friends. I met a wonderful woman, coincidentally with a name of my favorite season. Life is good and back on track and I am excited about tomorrow.
Devils Advocate

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