Friday, July 9, 2010

Begin With The End In Mind

"You alone should determine how fabulous you are...you alone should determine how great you will be...let others be your vehicle and NOT your DRIVER"
As a kid, we were all asked this question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Everybody had their answer, I want to be a pilot, nurse, doctor, fireman, housewife. I didn't know, I wanted to be a lot of things, I wanted to be an architect, a pilot, mechanical engineer, doctor, weatherman. The one thing I knew, was that I wanted to be like my parents, living comfortably and being happy.
I was fortunate to grow up in a country where education was free and you could become a doctor at the government's expense. This did me well, because I was always highly motivated and an overachiever. What was the secret to my success? Knowing where I wanted to be, plotting a course, and working hard to get there.
It doesn't matter what in life you are trying to achieve, the principal is the same. I personally don't believe that there is a soul mate out there for you, and when you find that person, you will live happily ever after. That would suggest to me that once you find that person, Utopia begins. I believe that there are many compatible people out there, the person you think is not your number one choice could surprise you, but you only can determine that through investigation.
Sometimes we identify our goals, and establish what our end point will be, but forget to fill in the middle. It is absolutely wonderful to want to be with that person for the rest of your life, but you have to work at it every minute of the day. Let me share with you a scenario, every morning before you leave to begin the daily grind, she is still asleep, but you kiss her on the lips and say "Love you babe". One day you stop doing it, you can't be bothered, doesn't matter anyway because she's sleeping. You have just thrown off the balance of your relationship. Subconsciously, she knows you do this every morning, it makes her feel at ease. She gets up that morning and she knows that something is different, she's not quite sure what it is, but something doesn't feel right. At dinner, there is tension, she can feel that something has changed, you know that something has changed. But this is only a symptom of a larger problem, and it will continue to grow. When all is said and done, there was only one thing that you did wrong, you stopped working at your relationship. Why did you do that? Because you simply forgot how fabulous she is. Yes that evening she was bitchy and you had a rough day at work, but the core has not changed. She still wanted to be greeted with that gentle kiss on her neck and asked "Honey, how was your day?". It doesn't matter how bitchy she was that evening, you know you still have the power to make her smile. You just didn't care to...
Begin with the end in mind...know your destination but don't forget about the journey...
Devils Advocate

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