Married at sea

When we started Love Bites seven years ago (holy shit!! it feels like a lifetime ago) we were young and naive and trying to make peace with a life once lived. Some things are still are the same, but so much has changed as well. For starters I'm closer to forty than thirty now. (Still trying to get use to this reality) Summer and I are no longer friends and I miss her dearly. Most of the others from back in the day I've lost touch with for one reason or another.

I've been holding onto this blog, not because I wish to relive the past, but because I worry that if I let it go I may not find my place again. Yet, the longer I let it sit here abandoned the more I prolong accepting my new reality.

The past will continue to haunt me and I'm coming to terms with this and the domino effects of decisions made years ago. In hindsight I would have done somethings differently, but then I wonder if I might never have made it where I am today.

With that said it's time to move onto the new chapter in life...marriage. Which is basically just the grown up version of Love Bites. Full disclosure I'm not actually getting married. Well maybe someday, but highly unlikely. The point is we all must move on someday and while today is that day for me and Love Bites.

There isn't nearly as much drama these days, but I still manage to find genius ways to screw up my life. This blog with all its' ghosts and easter eggs will live on here forever, but if you want to follow me and my new life go to: www.marriedatsea.com. Don't be turned off by the fluffy stuff I have on there too (i.e. fashion and lifestyle articles). I gotta make a living somehow right?!

xx
Kate

Hello

It's been literally years. I know, we suck. Maybe someday we will return and tell you what we have been up to, but until then check out our archived posts and feel free to email us at: info@lovebitesbabe.com. The past will forever live on here. Peace out love.

Burger Well Done

I’ve debated whether or not to talk about my recent ex, but since we are never ever getting back together, he’s fair game now. As relationships go, this one was a relatively short one, six months of happiness or so I thought.

We were never right for one another and although there were plenty of warning signs I stupidly hoped that his quirks would grow on me. He had so many great characteristics that are so rare to find in a man or at least the ones I've dated. He was very loving, caring, supportive and affectionate, but he was also very judgmental, stubborn, a super picky eater and ultimately a jackass.

He was very stuck in his ways. Almost forty, he had never been married or engaged, he was afraid of commitment (red flag), thought that having children was selfish, thought that going out for drinks or food during the week was abnormal and he only ate burgers well done, Margarita pizza or well done chicken. Which even if you aren’t a huge foodie like me still makes dining out anywhere decent nearly impossible.

I had originally nicknamed him “Rainman” because without fail his schedule every day was so predictable. But, since I was dumped via text he’s become Berger from the Sex and the City. Although I still think being dumped on a post-it is probably worst than in a texting conversation that started with him saying, “We need to talk” and my response being “What are you dumped me?” which was followed by him saying “Yea, pretty much.” When I returned to his place, after just being there an hour before and everything seemed normal, he had already started to pack up my belongings. So considerate of him :o

I shouldn’t have been so upset given our differences, but I had gotten so use to him being around and our weekend routine. We were basically living together and just a few weeks before he had asked me to officially move in with him. But, I knew the honeymoon phrase would end eventually and I was super creeped out that his apartment was decorated with items left behind from his exes. All I could think was one day I was going to be another ghost which is mainly why I was afraid if I did move in with him I would be thrown to the curb when we broke up like the others, which is exactly what happened.

So, I guess the point of this story is never get to comfortable in a relationship, never move in with someone before at least a year together, never compromise who you are to be with someone (they obviously aren’t the right one) and never dump someone via text and be offended when they call you an asshole, because you are.

Kate

Los Angeles Men

It’s hard to meet new people anywhere, but Los Angeles is a city where your car is a second home. Going out takes planning, taxis are hard to find, public transportation is a joke and drunk driving is common. Dating someone who lives 10 miles away means driving at least forty minutes, add in traffic, it could take more than an hour.

Finding a guy in LA who likes you just the way you are is like going to Cabo to ski. It’s fucking impossible!!! There are exceptions, but they seem to always have more baggage than any metrosexual hipster struggling actor who doesn’t realize he is not famous.

The exceptions:

1.) Divorced with kids – They will commit, but they have major baggage. Kids, an ex-wife, they usually live in the suburbs to be closer to their kid(s). Most of their free time if not all revolves around the kid(s). How well does he get along with the ex? Why did they break up?

2.) Never married, no kids, 35 or older (for some reason they usually live in Santa Monica and in the same apartment since college) – They are very nice and polite, usually a bit boring, but they have major commitment issues. Their longest relationship is usually less than 2 years or more than 4 years. Run away immediately! Don’t believe the line “I just haven’t met the one.” He probably did meet her, they are still friends, he still loves her and he regrets not proposing to her because he hasn’t met someone like her since (including you).

3.)Paper Perfect – He’s not bad looking, great chemistry, is financially stable, has a house, no kids, but you aren’t attracted to him and just want to be friends. He’s totally into you and therefore you can’t be friends. 

If he seems to good to be true, he will break your heart.

Trust your first impression.

If you go dutch before monogamy, he’s either poor, cheap or an asshole. Sometimes all three.

I have a better chance of winning the lottery than finding a good man.

Wish me luck.

Kate 

Welcome to Hollywood

I hadn’t completely given up on love yet, so six months ago after breaking up with my fiancé (it would take a lifetime to explain why, so I won’t), I followed my heart and moved across the country to Los Angeles, the place where dreams come true and love is in the air, or so I thought. 

A few stories about our relationship were documented over the years on the Love Bites blog. We were on and off for eight years which like most relationships ended quite horribly. Like Taylor Swift and any one of her exes we too are never ever getting back together.

Dating in Los Angeles is like an urban myth and the men here are all characters; some good, some bad and some so terrible that I'm seriously considering never dating again. 

My first night in LA, my bff Summer (She’s back in LA now) took me out to Bar Marmont which is a short walk from the infamous Chateau Marmont on Sunset Boulevard in West Hollywood. The mantra of Bar Marmont is “I am young, I am cool and damn it, people want to be me!” which is a pretty spot on description of the place. On the weekends you never know who you might see or meet.  

Every time I go here I always end up with hilarious stories, but never a second date. That night was no exception. At 1am, I started a conversation with a divorced, 42 year old, good-looking guy who had a teenager daughter. 

Why is it that men will tell you almost all of their baggage in five minutes if you are seating next to them at a bar, but on a proper date or during daytime hours they reveal nothing? 

And why do women think that their honesty deserves a reward?

Turned out the guy was a helicopter stunt man who worked on a bunch of Tom Cruise movies.  We exchanged numbers and a few nights late I went to a poker party he was hosting at a friend’s house in the valley. I should have known better when he told me it was 420 friendly. Turned out it was all drug friendly. I’m not any drug friendly.

In between bartending, setting up lines of cocaine on the kitchen counter and keeping an eye on the surveillance cameras recording activity around the house, because the party was totally illegal, he told me he was drug dealer at night. Just in case I hadn't figured that out already. Needless to say I left after an house and never heard from him again.

To read more stories about my dating experiences in LA, check out my new blog, Dating Los Angeles, at http://athousandfirstdates.blogspot.com.

Kate

New Year. New City. Still Single.

   I must apologize it's been nearly a year since I last wrote. I met a guy six months ago who for the first time in years made me feel special. Just the fact that I'm saying this a milestone. He is a great catch, almost everything I unknowingly wished for in my perfect match. Yet, we were polar opposites when it came to decisions on just about anything. Sadly we broke up shortly before the holidays.

   I suppose it was a mutual breakup, except for the being dumped via text part. Which I found even more hurtful being that it right before the holidays and I recently moved to a new city where the only people I had been socializing with were his friends.

   Long story short, I'm single again and almost 31!! and it turns out I've moved to the city with the worst chances of finding love or even Mr. Right Now. So, as part of my standard New Year's resolution to workout more and eat healthier,  I've started a new blog called - Dating Los Angeles @ http://athousandfirstdates.blogspot.com. If I haven't found Mr. Right after 1,000 dates I'll except my fate as an old cat lady living in a house of shoes.

 Happy New Year y'all!!!

 Kate

Mr. Nice Guy

    Wow... It's been ages hasn't it? I've been meaning to write something but I guess I just never make the time for it. Here's a little something to get my entrance back into the blog happening.

   So it’s been a long time since I’ve blogged. It’s been a long time since any of us have. I guess we’ve all been loved up recently. So my update. The last time I blogged was when I met Mr Nice Guy. Well it’s still going. And going great guns. Here we are about to enter our ninth month together. And I’ve moved in with him. We have been inseparable for the last four months or so. So it made sense. In the beginning I kept my wall up. It was stronger than after my divorce. After the Italian ended things because of his commitment fears I was determined to protect myself from ever being hurt again. I mean could you blame me?

    My marriage ended because of an unfaithful husband who couldn’t even be man enough to tell me the reason why he was ending it. And the first guy I could be close to after that ends our 12 month relationship via email at 4pm on New Years Eve because he is afraid of commitment. Happy effin New Years!!! Then along comes Mr Nice Guy (Lets call him D from now on cause I’m not typing that every time I refer to him…lol). My hat goes off to his mother for raising such a well mannered respectful guy. No doubt he had his moments growing up as every boy does. But to then to become the man that you mother wanted you to become is rare… well except for the fact that he doesn’t call her as much as she would like… I think it took a couple of months before there was any movement of my wall.

    It was a sturdy thing. But once I got that feeling that I could trust this guy and he understood why it was there it didn’t take too long before it had dropped completely.  The Italian didn’t help. Yeah he had ended it. But it didn’t take long before he started sending texts and emails. Saying what a mistake he had made. He worked out that he had commitment issues due to his parents and upbringing. He would send messages mainly on Friday and Saturday nights when he thought I would be somewhere possibly meeting someone new.

    What he was trying to do was make sure that I kept thinking about him and therefore I wouldn’t be able to move on. He even drove to my parent’s place an hour away to put a letter in their mailbox apologizing for what had happened. He showed up at work one day. I had already told him that I was with someone else. He left a letter basically saying that if this new relationship didn’t mean much then come back to him. And that he would be waiting for me when it finished.

    So lets come back to D. Any guy who buys you an awesome pair of Iron Fist shoes for your birthday gets a tick. Lol. But he did wait for the wall to come down. Very patiently. He’s very good at reading people and I think he saw it dropping before I realized. I only just realized recently that I have the same kind of relationship with him that I do with my best friend… except with more. And another plus is that he’s encouraging with my writing. He’s a photographer so he has that creative side. He’s at work at the moment but still told me I should write while he’s gone. But instead of working on a novel I thought that it’s well overdue to get this blog back on and poppin!!!!!

 Aussie Gal