Friday, February 25, 2011

Breaking The Rules

Two months into the new year and I've already broken one of my New Year's resolution. I met a possible new great love. His name in this arena is Ken. I've learned my lesson since the summer romance and as much as I would love to openly gossip about my personal life on here the cons of freedom of speech and what some people interpret from these written words can make the nine to five life more dramatic than necessary.
Initially I didn't think any harm could come from going out for just one drink after work. But, of course one drink turned into two, followed by an amazing dinner and than the next night another amazing dinner and hours of conversations. Yes, I know what I said last month about making my New Year's resolution to stop talking and flirting with men, but I've never been very good at saying no. On the plus side I lasted four weeks longer than I thought and just like my goal of going to the gym and trying to lose a few pounds I had a big piece of devil's food cake instead.
But, let's be clear I am not in a relationship, I have not fallen for the player tricks, I will not weaken even if my newest lust (the Prada denim twist frame bag) happened to magically appear.
Maybe this whole life and love thing isn't so complicated after all. Yea right, who am I kidding?

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Dream On

A wise man once told me that when life brings certain people back into your life it means you have unfinished business...good,bad,or indifferent...don't move on until you finished what was started. What this wise man forgot to mention was that the series finale would be a cliffhanger never intended to have closure.
Making peace with the past was how I got here. Over the last ten months I have accepted what may never be explained, I have embraced change and sought comfort from new and old friends. All the while the yellow brick road has been coaching me along with painfully gorgeous heels on and a lifetime of hilarious stories to tell.
People come and go, why certain people leave a footprint on our soul is one of life's mysteries. For some knowing the truth is better left unspoken, for others the unknown becomes a mission and at times a bizarre obsession, even if we know the real answers will never be told. Our point was made many months ago, so now this chapter and the many more waiting to be written are for us to craft the true ending to an unfinished past. Except at the end of this story the cowardly lion doesn't gain courage.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy I am Not

"Death is not the greatest loss. The greatest loss is what dies within us when we live." -
Norman Cousins

"Our purpose is already encoded in our souls before we are born and therefore there is someone inside us who knows what it is. Watch for synchronicities. They are signposts to purpose."- Deike Beg

Maybe there was a moment at which I realized it could never be the same. That we had run our course, but I still held out a sliver of hope that the good times would return. Of course they never did. Very quickly we took a turn for the worst, down a chained dirt road.
Life at times throws a lot of sharp objects at you. There is a choice run away and never look back or confront the monster and see where life leads you.
Never say never. Never live with regrets. Never forget the past, but also don't allow it to hinder your next chapter. A part of me wants to believe that time will mend this broken heart and come the spring we will be friends again. But I know it won't change a thing.
I think sometimes we fall in love with the idea of love and forget that marriage is a compromise and an endless and often times thankless job. In order to be strong one must be broken down for a period of time. If you can endure the darkness and survive then you deserve happiness once again.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Attraction Isn't a Choice

1) ATTRACTION Isn't A Choice.
2) Women don't feel ATTRACTION for "nice" guys who kiss up to them.
3) If you don't GET how ATTRACTION works, then it almost doesn't matter WHAT you do. Nothing will work.
4) If you DO get how ATTRACTION works, then you can do almost ANYTHING, and it will work for you.
Let's take 'em one at a time...
I was asked recently " what type of woman are you attracted to?" "How is it that you just know?", "why don't you take time to get to know someone?" ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE
Women or men don't "choose" to feel ATTRACTION....BANG! It just happens.And let me ask you something...
Do you think that the mechanism that causes women to feel ATTRACTION... the one that has evolved over millions of years... before language, before MTV, before you learned how to kiss women's asses... is LOGICAL?
Here's a hint: No.The bottom line is that if you interact with a woman long enough that she forms an "impression" of you, and she doesn't "feel it" for you, then you're done! No amount of chasing her around, buying her things, and being "nice" is going to do the trick.
WOMEN AND MEN DON'T FEEL ATTRACTION FOR "NICE" GUYS/GIRLS WHO KISS UP TO THEM. "How can you be too nice?".Now I'm going to ask YOU a question...
WHY are you BEING nice in the FIRST place?It's because you WANT something.
"Oh, no", you argue.."It's because I'm a NICE GUY/GIRL." Or maybe you think that you were born this way... to be "nice". Or maybe you've even convinced yourself that it's the "right" thing to do.
Well, it's really pretty funny that the answer is staring you right in the face.Or maybe you've even convinced yourself that it's the "right" thing to do.
You keep proving to yourself over and over and OVER again that NICE DOESN'T WORK.OK, before I get too far off track here, let's just summarize and say that it is EASY to be ""too nice".And it REALLY screws up your chances with women when you are.Women are NEVER attracted to WUSSIES.
"Overly nice" equals "Wussy".Remember that.
Think about the concept of ATTRACTION for a moment.
What is it?
Is it important?
Is it the same for men and women?
Do you KNOW how it works for women?
Have you ever taken the time to LEARN how it works for women?
Have you ever CARED how it works for women?
Are you guilty of spending more time thinking about what you're going to leave on your outgoing voicemail message than thinking about this topic?
Well, let's get something straight...
MOST men, and I'm talking about 95% of them, have NO IDEA how or why women feel that amazing emotion called ATTRACTION for some men.
And if they DO have an idea, it's usually DEAD WRONG.
All most guys know is that women don't feel ATTRACTION for THEM.

Here's the interesting part of all of this.

If you will take the time to LEARN how and why women feel that interesting and magical emotional response called ATTRACTION for some rare men, and not for ALL THE OTHER men running around, then EVERYTHING changes.
Here are a few interesting points...
There are a few physical cues, or specific types of "body language" that instantly tell a woman whether or not you're a guy that is even worth a SECOND GLANCE...
If you don't know what these things are, and how to use them, then the game will be over before it has even started.
Women test men CONSTANTLY.
And ATTRACTIVE women test men MUCH MORE INTENSELY than "regular" women.
If you don't know how to spot these tests (and most of them are very subtle), and then deal with them, you're going to lose your chance to create ATTRACTION before you even GET it.
Being "nice" isn't the way.
If you want to chase a woman around for six months, buy her tons of gifts, take her on a bunch of expensive dates, and HOPE for a chance to have her as your girlfriend, then keep doing what you've always done.
This is the PRIMARY way that men approach the topic of "women and dating".
I'd say that, on average, if you're REALLY REALLY NICE, and you buy her lots of extra-nice stuff, and take a woman on at least 20 dates over a 3-month time period, that you'll have about a 10% chance of her "falling for you".
That's just a guess.
But it's probably pretty accurate.
On the OTHER hand, if you want to be the kind of guy that has women FLIRTING with you within MINUTES of talking to them, then you're going to need to do something else ENTIRELY.
And if you want to be the kind of guy that actually has so many options, so many dates, and so many women interested in him that you just can't take all their calls, then you're going to need a COMPLETE OVERHALL in your thinking, behavior, and perspective.
Yes, it can be done, but "nice" isn't the way to do it.
Here's the irony:
No no no!
Women are looking for MEN.
You know, a MAN?
I have a theory...
I think so many women are turning into lesbians because even WOMEN have more balls these days than most men.
You probably think I'm joking...
OK, so what should us guys do to:
1) Stop being "too nice"...
2) Learn how ATTRACTION works for women...
3) Meet and date more women successfully...
NOW THOSE are some GREAT questions!
Step 1 is to OPEN YOUR MIND to a new way of seeing things.

I watched guy who were REALLY successful with women for a LONG TIME... with my OWN TWO EYES... before I started to actually SEE what was going on.
And at first it just plain didn't make sense AT ALL.
But once I began to understand it, everything came together in a "blinding flash of the obvious".
Next, you need to realize that "nice" and ATTRACTION are two different things.
And they're NOT related.
Finally, you need to GET AN EDUCATION about this topic.
It amazes me that a man will go to college, spend a hundred grand OR MORE, and feel satisfied walking out of that educational experience STILL not having learned how to be successful with women.
It amazes me EVEN MORE that guys don't make the decision to actually LEARN this stuff.
Blows my mind.
The Man

Happy Valentine's Day!

Eight months ago I thought I would be in the same boat as a lot of our readers and be in an anti-Valentine’s Day frame of mind. Don’t get me wrong. I do think it is such an over- commercialized day and that there is no reason why this day should be the only time you express your love and feelings for another. But I also can’t help but to get caught up in happiness that the day brings to people. The way a girls face lights up when she has a dozen long stem red roses delivered to her workplace. The thought that goes into presents to see that smile on your partners face when they open it. The public displays of affection and love between two people. Of course there is another reason why I’m not in the anti-Valentine’s Day boat but out of respect I intend to keep references to him at a minimum at this stage. He knows about the blog and is OK if I write about him but for now I think I will try and keep him out.

I understand that this day can be rather depressing to many people out there. Remember I’ve been through a broken relationship too. But one thing that I maintained throughout the whole process was that being negative was a waste. A waste of time, a waste of energy, a waste of emotions. I don’t think enough can be said about the power of positive thinking. For starters you feel an amazing change in yourself. It can be very uplifting. I can tell you from experience that having a smile and being positive is a great start to meeting a guy. In my newly single days I didn’t get any attention from guys. Why? Because I wasn’t happy. And that’s what I was putting out there. I didn’t realize it but obviously guys picked up on it and didn’t come anywhere near me. Then there was a change. Guys started noticing me. I was happy again and they must have picked up on that. You need to be comfortable and confident with yourself and If a guy has to pick from the girl who looks like her puppy just died or the girl who is smiling and looks happy who do you think he will choose? The next question is which girl do you want to be?

So this Valentine’s Day instead of feeling down because there isn’t someone buying you roses. Go out and do something for yourself. Do something that will make you happy and smile. Do something to show that you love yourself. Don’t you deserve it?
Aussie Gal

Sunday, February 13, 2011

How Did I Get Here?

What am I doing? How did I get here? Some days are better than others. Today is just one of those days that has me asking myself "How did I get here?"
I am an ok looking guy, decent job, very easy to get along with, and so much to offer the right woman. I am back in the dating world once again and this weekend, I got back online (on a dating site) and soon followed by some new mail and possible dates. A funny thing happened recently.... Some of my customers/clients were asking about my marriage status, I wondered why? Then they asked if I would be interested in a blind date. I thought to myself this was either a really bad idea, or I have put an amazing impression on them and they wanted to be a bit responsible for my happiness. So last week was date #1 Very attractive (DEA agent)hahahhahaha!! You would know why I'm laughing if you have been reading from the beginning. I am a risk-taker and even thought about putting a little pot in my pocket during the date but I don't smoke. I guess you can say I love the adrenaline. So...we meet, have a great night (my client, her new boyfriend, and #$@%$#$). My client wanted me to "check out" her new man and see if he's really into her. He seemed like a great guy and I'm happy to say won my approval. Now back to me.... When she first walked in she was cute, but didn't have that "WOW factor" for me...until...she got up to use the bathroom. WHOA!!! Baby got back!! And after seeing that, I was all in. I then checked out the nails (perfectly manicured), nice stiletto heels, and the most perfectly fitting jeans. We watched the game, had way too many drinks, and all of us ended up at a strip club. This chic had everything...or was it the booze and that perfect ass? Well, whatever it was, I was into her.
We exchange numbers and talk a few times after. Here's the catch (there seems to always be one of these) she is with a married guy, or should I say screwing one. Hmmm, this tells me one thing.... She wants what she can’t have. I was somewhat possible. So I'm guessing if I wanted anything further, I would need to be a dick, or tell her I'm too busy for her. Again with the games!! Ok #2 Clients sister. Somewhat attractive but a little older than I would like. This was just a meeting, nothing more, nothing less. Here's my dilemma... I have noticed I have either dated the women in their 20's, late 30's, or early 40ish. No one early 30's. I have hit a point where I keep thinking not holding out on kids and marriage, at earlier years, would have been easier. I could have done it all earlier, but instead my career came first. Now I get the wounded women who have kids, been crapped on by guys, and I'm the lucky winner of Wednesdays, or every other weekend!
Woohoo!! Well if that's the schedule I get than I'm going to need a few of you to fill the week!
I feel as if I held out with my old school beliefs of only getting married once is not practical now-a-days. Everyone my age has kids, been married, and now divorced. Is that a good thing? Not in my eyes, but they look at me like.... no kids? Never been married? Hmmmmmm..... what’s wrong with him? NOTHING!! I wear condoms, never settle, and when it's right, it's right! Dating and life in general has become so impersonal. How often do you hear a friend’s voice? Instead it's a texting world, facebooking is now the way to see what your friends are up to, and Christmas is no longer filled with kids riding their new bikes or skateboards down the streets.... instead kids are playing games, jerking off, bisexual is the norm, and sports are only done online. Geez, do I sound old? LOL <---at least I can use some of the terms.
The Man

The Pickup Artist

Why do most men fail miserably when it comes to approaching attractive women? Most of the time, it's because they never learned how to stand out from the crowd when a hundred other guys are trying to do the same thing. Want the edge you need to make her notice you instead of them... without using lame lines or cheap come-ons? Here are the top 10 ways to make it happen:

1. Take control
No doubt about it... the first thing an attractive woman will do when you approach her is see if she can control and intimidate you. The second thing she'll do is ignore you when she finds out that she can. But use Cocky and Funny, show confidence, use the right body language, etc., and she'll quickly notice you because YOU are taking control. Sure, this confuses her, but it also gets her attention by transmitting a message loud and clear: "I'm the one who's in charge. Feel free to come along if you want." Communicate that to a woman, and she'll see right away that you're different than 99.99% of other guys. She'll immediately respect you and want to know more about you. In other words, she'll feel ATTRACTION for you -- and as you know, that's what everything I teach is all about.

2. Master your body language
This is really basic, 101 stuff, but it's huge. I've said it a million times: when you're approaching a woman, your body language is more important than the words you use. Most men use submissive, apologetic body language and voice tones that look as if they're begging and pleading with a woman to give them approval... and these men INSTANTLY come across as wussies. There's no faster way to kill attraction. Instead, project that you have killer confidence (see #8.) Lean back. Give her space. Act like you're not concerned at all about whether or not she's going to like you because, you know what? You shouldn't be.

3. Be Direct
Here's the thing... most guys use "trickery" and long-winded, boring conversation to get info about a woman. Don't do it. Don't make the mistake of trying to figure out some slick way to get her to share something about herself, or to go do something with you. If you want to know something, just ask her straight out. If you want to spend time with her, don't just ask for a date. Tell her that you're doing something later and that she's free to join you. Believe me, you'll take her aback and set yourself apart. Be classy as well as direct, and you'll get where you want to go much, much faster.

4. Use Her "Negativity" To Your Advantage
Women will often test you by turning the conversation in an intentionally negative direction, often by complaining about themselves. When they do, be ready for it: it's a GREAT opportunity for you. Instead of playing along (and sounding wussy) use Cocky and Funny to spark and ramp up attraction. Just take what she's saying and turn it up a notch. For example, if she says: "My dress makes me look too fat," just reply, "You know, I wasn't going to say anything, but..." If she says her hair's a mess, say, "Maybe you'll look better tomorrow." Point is: she's expecting you to be just another wussy and kiss up to her. When you DON'T, you'll immediately stand out from the crowd.

5. Get Her Number And Get Out
One of the best ways to make a woman sit up and take notice is to disappear after you get her number. So, early on in the conversation, ask her if she has e-mail. When she says yes, tell her: "Great, I've got a few things to do, but I'd really like to chat more with you later. Here, write your email down. Oh, and your number, too." You'll be shocked how many attractive women will respond positively. At that point... take the info and leave. If you do, you'll leave her wanting more instead of wanting to run for the door. Plus, you'll find the encounter so painlessly quick and effective, it'll instantly build you confidence to approach even more women.

6. Have A Game Plan
Feeling unprepared to start a conversation with a woman is the best way to blow it when you do. So it's a no-brainer... same as with the awkward silence, have a few topics to start the conversation in your back pocket as well, and mentally rehearse them. The ones that work best are the simplest: "Hey, what are you drinking?" "Hey, are you from around here?" I realize that these sound way too simple, but that's the beauty of it. They're so simple... and natural... that they're disarming. They don't come across as lame, canned "pickup lines," and they help you figure out quickly if the woman you're talking to might be receptive to you.

7. Avoid Awkward Silences
When a guys first starts talking to a woman (especially a very attractive one) he usually lets his emotions and insecurities get the best of him right off the bat. He starts to think, "I better impress her, and fast, or she won't give me a chance." The bad news is... you're right. The good news is... you can impress her the most just by avoiding awkward silence. If you begin to feel it happening, just keep things moving... but casually. Tell a funny story about something that happened to you when you were a kid. Make fun of famous people. Whatever. Have something ready and do it. It's got to be better than that painful, awkward silence.

8. Project Confidence
Imagine how you'd come across if you were the most confident guy on the planet. You'd seem so in control that you'd be in no rush. You'd never talk too fast or too much, since all of that screams "I'm a nervous wussy". You'd move, gesture and speak slowly and deliberately. You'd pause often, and ditch the anxious, twitchy gestures, laughs, ticks, etc. You'd never break eye contact unless a woman does first. All of this projects killer confidence, and you'll start to notice more women noticing you as you learn how to do it.

9. "Rehearse" Your Game Online
Come on... why risk blowing it with a woman live and in-person, when you can practice "rejection-free" all you want first? Go online and practice making sure you don't bore women with your normal, boring comments and normal, boring questions. Instead, start being direct. Showing confidence. Asking for numbers and telling women that you're swamped with a million messages from supermodels so they better act fast or you'll be gone. Master Cocky and Funny from the comfort of your keyboard, and you'll be much better at it when you try it in the "real world."

10. Improve Yourself
Are you approaching women with the best version of yourself? Somehow I doubt it. The sad truth is most guys don't take ANY time at all to improve themselves. Ever. But if you really want to get an attractive woman to notice you, you better be one of the few who stand out because he took the time to develop something uniquely interesting in himself. So get on it... Take classes. Read books. Exercise. See classic films. Start investing in yourself, and you'll be on the fast path to success with the women you really want.

I thought the information was honest and could work for some of those guys wondering "How to make a woman notice you". You have to stand out from the rest, and give it a try. You really have nothing to loose. I have found that funny works as well just don't make jokes about them instead joke about you. For example...think about the guy from the movie Hangover, he's getting all the chubby dudes laid now. Have fun, take risks, and don't look back.
The Man

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Love, What Is It Good For?

"When love is not madness, it is not love." ~Pedro Calderon de la Barca

There is a reason why relationships fall apart and new ones are formed. Even in the worse of times there is a lesson to be learned. In some cases it takes many mistakes to see the light. But, even if you think you understand why you feel a certain or act out of character there will be a moment later on down the road where you once again start to question yourself and others for what happened many moons ago.
You may think the ex-files are securely locked and no matter how many times you try and play devil's advocate with yourself the same questions that were looming before still remain.
It's been said that once you stop caring and stop paying attention that a former great love will seek you out. Be cautious of their motives and ask yourself why you care.
In some cases you wonder what you ever saw in the ex to begin with. If you think this way then it never was love, just an expulsive purchase that you later returned.
Traits that you once thought were funny and cute are now annoying and humorous for very different reasons. A part of moving on from the person you once were and the people you once called friends and lovers is understanding your mistakes and accepting others for being cowardly, spineless, jackasses.
Not knowing the truth in some ways makes letting go of the past easier. But when the ghosts continues to attach themselves to your new life one starts to wonder just how juicy a story the missing chapter was.
I still hold out hope that one day I will get the answer to the question left unanswered. But, for now I'm thankful I never have.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Black Heart of Love

I hate coffee, olives, cherries, cranberries, whip cream, flan, mashed potatoes, children left unattended, soccer moms, mini vans, entry level European cars, walking designer billboards, the color pink, reality shows, dancing with the stars and mind numbing television and most importantly I hate roses, chocolate dipped strawberries, Tiffany's and Hallmark cards.
If you buy into the concept of Valentine's Day or are peer pressured into buying a present for your current flame please think outside the box. Maybe some women like the expected and most likely these same ladies are the ones who believe getting married is an achievement and suddenly instead of being called their real name they are now referred to as "the wife of..."
By now you probably figured out I'm not that type. So as most of America gets ready for the pink heart day I'll be sitting at the anti Valentine's Day table with a can of Red Bull and a bottle of Vodka and I swear this has nothing to do with the fact I'm currently single. I've never been one to ask my girlfriend to come to the bathroom with me or felt uncomfortable going out to eat or a movie by myself. Likewise, I've never bought into the idea that love should be expressed based on a calendar, but I'm in the minority.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


Somethings in life are priceless and this is one of them. We've been debating whether or not to continue writing on this blog after the one year anniversary. Life isn't the same anymore and it's becoming apparent that the writing bug is at times losing steam. I have learned a great deal from writing on here. Not only about myself, but about so-called friends and new partners in crime.
Writing about life, love and JSRs (Jackass Sewer Rats) helped me move on from the past and make peace with an unfinished past. But, now I feel I've lost my spark for the fight.
My life is no longer a projection of what I want people to think it is. It has over the last months become who I am. I wonder now if the path I've chosen to pursue would have been an option before Love Bites. I am so thankful for the overwhelming support and kind words from the growing number of followers. I feel so blessed and honored that people appreciate and can relate to my words. Especially since at times I can barely understand what I wrote the night before.
In recent weeks I feel we have let the ball drop and not put nearly as much effort or attention to the blog as we once did. For this I am sorry. I can only hope that you continue to follow us in the future and as we move to the next chapter of Love Bites with the addition of the websites and clothing line that you follow us there as well.
With Love,

Friday, February 4, 2011

Bowler of Trophies

Silly girl. Didn't you expect this would happen? You were a fool to believe anything had changed. Hadn't the past shown you just how good a liar he was? Is it was it is. But, instead of imagining the endless possibilities that could be going on right now take this as another lesson learned in love lost and found. Nothing, is as it seems.
Enjoy this moment it maybe the last quiet one left. Life is changing and you can no longer prevent it from crashing down. Where the road less traveled goes now is up to you and you alone. Continue to play the game just like everyone else around you. Stop questioning and keep pretending to be friends with your greatest enemies.
What was screamed in a fit of rage and frustration didn't magically go away. Nothing has changed and yet so much has. You know perfectly well what is going on around you. Remain calm and composed. The best is yet to come.

Thursday, February 3, 2011


The ending was in the making before we even said hello. If only I had recognized all the signs blinking and telling me to run away now before you get tangled up in a tale that doesn't end with a happy ending or a glass slipper.
It is always better to think before you speak. To over think and write pros and cons lists, to evaluate the situation and the people around you and then after you make your final decision you will realize just how selfish and wrong that choice was. It might haunt you for years or overtime you may come to realize it was the moment that defined who you would become.
I have had that moment and the moments thereafter are numbing and filled with a balloon boy idea of sublime happiness. Maybe it all falls apart again just as everything else has after a while or maybe, just maybe for once the puzzle effortlessly gets put together.
If we question people and why they do what they do we will never like the answer. It will never be correct. Sometimes the answer we want to hear is simply not in our partner’s vocabulary. The more we push, the further into the deep blue we float.
The smart ones know when to walk away before the gamble is too risky. Before they become emotionally attached. Before I becomes a we. I never did.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Phantom of The Opera

Each choice has a result. Some we regret, some we cherish, some that haunt us. Who knows what lies ahead in the days and months to come? If the magic eight ball or genie in a box could really tell the future many of life choices probably wouldn't have occurred. Sometimes we take a chance and photo shop ourselves in a world and a life that seems so perfect and ideal on the outside, but once inside the make believe turns out to be more like an episode from the real housewives franchise.
When we reveal the truth behind the facade we aren't greeted warmly anymore. It never was real to begin with so at least now it's the truth.
Some people come into our lives in a period of turmoil and take advantage of our weaknesses. Just when we think we found an alias in a world of frenemies and haters the door is shut again without an answer.
Accusations and threats fuming with love and hate are thrown out into the ring. Even after the fight is over the true war has just begun. If we understood our actions and those of others around us would we make the same choices so quickly? Would we question others motives more intensely? If we follow our heart and the road we travel down isn't welcoming have we failed or found a new ideal?