Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Pandora's Box

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.
The second obstacle in a life-altering year has been completed. The first of course being the day my heart was stomped on and thrown out with the trash. Moving past the pain and getting to my new happy place is how I came to the second biggest challenge, writing down my heartache and documenting it in an open diary time capsule.
Yesterday, we closed another chapter in a life once lived. However, this time there is no lock and key. The past, no matter how painful to relive must not be altered. It is a permanent reminder of a timeless emotional roller coaster that we have survived and documents the dramatic transition in our spiritual and emotional well being. In the same breath the hurt and resentment is forever present. I've spent the last couple weeks reading, re reading and dissecting my tattooed soul and no matter how many months or years pass my heart will never ever fully recover from the trauma inflicted.
It seems that just as I thought I was truly free from the ghosts the hurt and confusion has resurfaced. Another reason I wanted to terminate the comment option before was so that I never had to chance hearing from M and company ever again. But, their comments will forever by attached to this blog and my heart. Much like a car accident, I shouldn't look but I'm curious. The blog has in a way become a Pandora’s box. I can't help but look at the archives and yet by doing this I move a step back and I'm once again confronted with the emotional wounds of a past life. Back to therapy I go. The past unfortunately can never be forgotten no matter how hard I try to forget. If only I didn't have a soul like M and company, I too could go about life not caring about the emotional aftermath of my actions and words. I've got a big heart, sometimes too large for my own good. Never again, life is forever altered. Guts, glory and passion are the next journey in this serendipitous new life.

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