Sunday, September 23, 2012

Mr. Nice Guy

    Wow... It's been ages hasn't it? I've been meaning to write something but I guess I just never make the time for it. Here's a little something to get my entrance back into the blog happening.

   So it’s been a long time since I’ve blogged. It’s been a long time since any of us have. I guess we’ve all been loved up recently. So my update. The last time I blogged was when I met Mr Nice Guy. Well it’s still going. And going great guns. Here we are about to enter our ninth month together. And I’ve moved in with him. We have been inseparable for the last four months or so. So it made sense. In the beginning I kept my wall up. It was stronger than after my divorce. After the Italian ended things because of his commitment fears I was determined to protect myself from ever being hurt again. I mean could you blame me?

    My marriage ended because of an unfaithful husband who couldn’t even be man enough to tell me the reason why he was ending it. And the first guy I could be close to after that ends our 12 month relationship via email at 4pm on New Years Eve because he is afraid of commitment. Happy effin New Years!!! Then along comes Mr Nice Guy (Lets call him D from now on cause I’m not typing that every time I refer to him…lol). My hat goes off to his mother for raising such a well mannered respectful guy. No doubt he had his moments growing up as every boy does. But to then to become the man that you mother wanted you to become is rare… well except for the fact that he doesn’t call her as much as she would like… I think it took a couple of months before there was any movement of my wall.

    It was a sturdy thing. But once I got that feeling that I could trust this guy and he understood why it was there it didn’t take too long before it had dropped completely.  The Italian didn’t help. Yeah he had ended it. But it didn’t take long before he started sending texts and emails. Saying what a mistake he had made. He worked out that he had commitment issues due to his parents and upbringing. He would send messages mainly on Friday and Saturday nights when he thought I would be somewhere possibly meeting someone new.

    What he was trying to do was make sure that I kept thinking about him and therefore I wouldn’t be able to move on. He even drove to my parent’s place an hour away to put a letter in their mailbox apologizing for what had happened. He showed up at work one day. I had already told him that I was with someone else. He left a letter basically saying that if this new relationship didn’t mean much then come back to him. And that he would be waiting for me when it finished.

    So lets come back to D. Any guy who buys you an awesome pair of Iron Fist shoes for your birthday gets a tick. Lol. But he did wait for the wall to come down. Very patiently. He’s very good at reading people and I think he saw it dropping before I realized. I only just realized recently that I have the same kind of relationship with him that I do with my best friend… except with more. And another plus is that he’s encouraging with my writing. He’s a photographer so he has that creative side. He’s at work at the moment but still told me I should write while he’s gone. But instead of working on a novel I thought that it’s well overdue to get this blog back on and poppin!!!!!

 Aussie Gal

Does "The One" Exist?

    Okay, finally got this done... this was a lot tougher to write than previous posts. Not sure why, but here goes. Does "The One" exist for everyone? I'm beginning to wonder. I want to believe it does. I am an adamant believer in past lives and sometimes I wonder if maybe you don't always find that person or you find them but the timing is never right.... and you just have to wait for your next life to try and figure it out. And sometimes you find that person that you inexplicably are drawn to... nothing else matters and you know it's right.... those are the lucky ones. Although knowing something is right and that you belong together does not mean it will work out... who knows maybe my radar is broken and I'm just headed in the wrong direction.

    The one that got away has been back since April. We have always been good at picking up where we left off and feeling as though no time has passed since we last saw eachother. We got to spend a decent amount of time together, and every bit of it was fantastic. However, he kept wandering away, going out of town to visit friends and family and staying gone for 2-3 weeks at a time. He chose to not get a house, or a job, and has spent a lot of time visiting family. We texted back in June and he said he didn't know when he was coming back. And so I gave up. I was so so sad and honestly didn't want anything to do with another man. I mean really, why even bother?

     Then, shortly after he left I started getting messages from another ex, and we decided to meet up. He was certainly kind, and had a lot of apologizing to do and he did it well. This is the man I dated before "the one that got away" back then we had a pretty solid relationship until he moved away to follow a lead on a job. He was gone for months but texted me almost daily... we made plans for the future for him to meet my kids and me his. We had a whole brady bunch fantasy going and when it came time for him to move back we saw eachother once and then he flaked out on me and dissapeared. That was the end of it. I never responded to another text or call. Until just recently, and I figured why not. He explained to me that he got freaked out by the commitment and that this time would be different. He said he wouldn't lose me this time. It was going well.... and then I dropped him like a hot potato (because of 'the one that got away') and have been ignoring him ever since.


    I feel bad but I don't know how to explain myself. Should I just say "Hey I'm in a complicated booty call/ almost meaningful relationship with another man and I can't see you both because I'd feel to guilty?" Or should I just keep ignoring him, and only occasionally respond politely to his texts? 'The one that got away' is like a drug!. I cave when I get a call from him. So once again, when he texted me last Friday asking me my plans for the weekend... I knew we would see eachother. It was nothing short of amazing. He's got my heart, I know I'm safe and secure with him. I know I can be myself and he doesn't judge me (like on our 3rd date when I drank too much at a bbq with friends and I ended up puking ALL over his bedroom floor as I ran for the bathroom... he kissed my forehead, told me not to be embaresed and called the next day to check on me)

    When we saw each other, he grabbed onto me, held me close and told me he was sorry. During the next few hours I swear I have never heard a man say 'I'm Sorry' so many times in my life... and seem genuine about it. We talked a lot about the last couple years. We never had a break up (just breaks in time where we didn't see each other), we never fought, or had drama. I really let go of most of my fears and told him how he's the only one that I want to be with, that no one has ever made me feel the way he does.... that he's a strange guy and I'm intensely drawn to him. I also told him that I don't want to be put on hold. I told him that him saying goodbye is important to me, and lets me know that he's thinking of me.

     So once again he left, but this time he did say goodbye.  I know he'll be back in a couple weeks... and I guess once again I'm happy to hold onto memories until then. Is this a terribly bad situation? Yes and no. I am a busy person, my kids are my life and maybe as much as I want a 'real' relationship this still might not be the right time for it. I am still a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. So seeming I feel he is "the one" should I just wait it out? In about 8 years my kids will all be teenagers and in 15 years they will (hopefully) all be in college and moving forward in life. Is it possible to love someone, hold onto them, yet not really be together for that long on purpose? Or am I just being a stupid girl and grasping at straws? Anyone have advice for me? Anyone else have problems/questions they want help with??

 Friend me on Facebook @ TheHotmama Love Bites, I would love to be thinking about your issues instead of mine!!!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Love Bites

   So, all is quiet in respects to dating, I am still stuck on the one that got away. I'm pretty sure he's going to come back in the next few months after he is done traveling. I am holding out for what once was because I simply can't move on.... and the guys I have met or went on dates with were either one night stand material (not even future booty call worthy) or "just friends" material. And I didn't sleep with either type. 
 
   I haven't found anyone that I feel connected with, or even want to be connected to. Tonight I went out for a couple hours, by myself. It was interesting, boring, and ridiculous all in the matter of a few hours. I did end up spending the majority of time with a man I met a couple years ago. When I first met him, we kind of hit it off. Then we went on one date, which went okay but it wasn't anything special for me. So throughout the last couple years I have run into him and we've been polite in talking and all but never really hung out. Tonight was different. We laughed a lot, made up lies and hung out with people we don't know and will probably never see again. It was fun.

   After awhile when we were alone, he told me that he's loved me since the day we met. He professed his love to me in front of all these people too. He told me how hard it's been on him, that ever since that first date when I didn't want to kiss him he's loved me more and more. Oh and that I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever known. Dear God!! He's not bad looking or anything, and I know he's very financially well off and I could totally go for it even if it were just for the money.... but damn it I'm smart. Way smarter than that.

  I was honest with him, I am (possibly) stupidly holding on to the past and a man that isn't even in the same state as me and hasn't even been in contact with me since September. When I say it out loud it sure does make me feel stupid. I just can't let it go, the possibility that he may be "the one" I think I'll give it a couple more months. Anyways, back to the man that loves me and isn't afraid to say it... I think he's either one of those truly honest "sensitive" men that expresses their feelings or maybe he's a "pre-stalker" whichever one it is I want nothing to do with it. I suppose he could be both, a little demented since he's known for 2 years that I'm not into him. I feel a bit bad after thinking about it all. It's almost the same situation I'm in, except the man I love I was actually in a relationship with.

Hot Mama

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Be Honest With Yourself

It's been a tumultuous couple of weeks. A lot of things have recently been put into perspective for me. We are fragile.... our bodies and minds. One mistake or many once we go too far we can rarely take it back. There is only moving forward beyond the hurt, and to figure out how next time WILL be different. This life we only live once.

Single dad has been mostly silent. We hung out twice in the last two weeks for a little bit. We didn't stay the night, and he seemed a bit dismayed about that. I on the other hand am more than happy. He's not right for me; I'm not going to convince myself that he is. I deserve more and I will not settle.

With Single Dad I told him exactly how I felt when he asked me. I was honest and vulnerable. As I know now, he was not quite the same with me, and I am glad I have stuck to being friends with no benefits. We make much better friends than anything else. He is still working on his issues and I believe he drinks a bottle of denial each and every night!

It amazes me how self-indulgent/self centered a person can be. Single dad made some reference to sex last week and I replied that he should take care of himself in the shower (I was the only one who thought it was funny...ha-ha still do) He was so convinced that I was still into him, despite me telling him that I went out with a very hot younger man the night before or maybe it was because I told him about that date. Maybe he was just trying to convince himself?

Anyways, I am in agreement with Aussie Gal.... nice guys do still exist. They are however rare. I am starting to feel a bit old. And most guys my age (or a bit younger/older) seem complicated. They've either been married and are now divorced, have babies with multiple women, have kids but never see them, have severe commitment issues and could never be in a relationship long enough to even get married, or are so lonely that they constantly contact you and plead for you to go out with them or they think they are still in high school and want to act like a player. Then there are the nice guys, just as there are nice girls. It's just a matter of taking your time, being honest, patient, and going for what you really want and not settling for anything less.

Hot Mama


P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business! www.sharetheloveclothing.com
In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

Monday, February 13, 2012

I Think Nice Guys Do Exist

Have I met one of rarest species on Earth??? The nice guy…

A week ago I went to the pub to have a drink for a solo celebration of my divorce being finalized. Towards the end of the night I ended up meeting a couple of guys. The conversation was easy… Could have had something to do with the number of beers had but anyway…I felt comfortable handing my number over. The next day I get a message to catch up again that night. Why not? What have I got to lose…

Nice Guy Indicator #1…. I got a text from him saying that he was going to be 5 minutes late. That made a very good impression. For one I don’t like being late. If anything I’m always early. I don’t like being kept waiting so I don’t make others wait for me. But these days people will just show up 5 minutes late. They don’t give you a heads up.. After all it is only 5 minutes.

So we had a few casual drinks. It was pretty much a get to know you kinda thing… What movies do you like? Music? Etc But still easy and comfortable. May have made the mistake of telling him about this blog because he is probably reading this right now… So shout out to D!!!!!

Every couple of days he would send a text. And then he invited myself and Miss M (who previously was known as my roomy but because we don’t live together anymore she gets her own name) to go out with him and his friends this weekend.

Nice Guy Indicator #2…. His friends. Although he jokingly called them dysfunctional they were all nice people. Fun and friendly. Easy to get along with. I believe that your friends say something about the person that you are. If you hang with assholes then well… you know.

So throughout the night he managed to throw out a couple of nice complimentary comments. It was fun. But also in a group of people you don’t get much time to spend one on one.
So we ended the night… or shall I say morning, by watching the sun come up on the beach. Something I have never done before.

Nice Guy Indicator #3…. He didn’t try to have sex with me. Massive brownie points here…. He crashed at my place… In my bed… With me… Now correct me if I’m wrong here but for the majority of guys if you are in bed with a girl you like you try to go there. Right? Well he didn’t… Wow.. This surprised me. If there was an attempt I would have shut it down, but I didn’t have to. So what does this tell me??? He is respectful. It wasn’t just about getting laid. Which is pretty much the impression that I get from most guys…

Nice Guy Indicator #4…. Miss M’s opinion. Apart from my sister she probably knows me the best. At times we can finish each others sentences. We can see a look on each others face and know exactly what the other is thinking. So we had a debrief after the night. She has given the thumbs up. He and all of his friends came across as very genuine people. She had a good feeling about it.

I think nice guys do exist!!!!!!

Aussie Gal


P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business! www.sharetheloveclothing.com

In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Remember Me?

I’m baaaack!!

Whoa…….. What a rollercoaster ride. Time for me to disembark.

Those Biters who have been following for a while would know that I have been MIA for a quite some time.

I’ve been on one hell of a rollercoaster ride for too many months now. Sometimes it was my coaster; sometimes I was a passenger on someone else’s rollercoaster. Didn’t mean it was less scary, but I’m just glad the ride is (fingers crossed) slowing down and coming to an end.

There’s been pregnancies, a complicated birth, friends/partners going overseas, breakups, getting back together, couples moving in together, partner’s moving out, job changes, friends hurting each other, health scares………oh too much. Of course I wanted to write about it, I had permission from one of my fellow rollercoaster rider’s to write about what they were going through but didn’t feel it was the right time. In some fucked up way I can see it coming back on me and I would end up in the shit. So better to let sleeping dogs lie. At least for now.
It’s been pretty ridiculous really. My life used to be drama free, but now it just seems to be one thing after another.

So after a while I came to the conclusion that I needed to look after number one. A change in lifestyle was needed. I moved. I now live with 2 awesome girls in a great unit right across the road from one of the best beaches on the Gold Coast. Everything is within walking distance and it is such a vibrant and alive place. I’m meeting new people. Making new friends. And doing new things. I’m even looking at a scuba diving holiday to Fiji towards the end of the year… Yay… My first real holiday… Ever!!!!! Gotta learn how to scuba dive first… lol

I have always enjoyed my writing so I am going to try and make more time to do it. Surely it won’t be too hard to sit on the balcony overlooking the ocean with a glass of wine and my laptop…. Yeah I think I can make time for that….

Aussie Gal

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!

In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Friends With NO Benefits

Did I just fuck up the future because of the past!? Or was there never a strong future in it for me and the single dad? A little bit of both perhaps.

We had a playdate yesterday, single dad and I talked last night after the kids were asleep. I opened myself up to whatever may happen. I spoke honestly and from my heart. I told him exactly what I wanted from our relationship (only because he asked me to) I opened myself up to be hurt. And that's what happened.

I want a trusting, authentic relationship, I want to be in love. I want to feel the passion and love that I've had in the past. I give people and situations chances where there is passion, love, kindness, caring or potential for any of that. He was honest too, so I'm not mad at him or anything but rather disappointed. He doesn't want any of that, at least not right now. He told me he feels broken, that he needs to put himself back together and that he doesn't trust women. Then he demanded that I go to the store and get him some stuff and that I should hurry back so we could fuck. He was not being sarcastic. WTF?!?! Bi-polar perhaps?

Completely emotionally unstable? I went to the store crying the whole way... and I called my love, the man from the past. The one whose passion and love is incomparable to anything I have ever felt. It may have been 5am where he was, but he picked up and talked to me and helped me calm down. We texted for a good half hour until single dad was so pissed that I'd been gone so long that he kept calling and calling and he knew that I had been talking and texting someone. He got really paranoid. I don't think he has a right to be paranoid if he only want to be friends with benefits.

He seems like he's completely lost in himself, so hung up on the hurt from the past. I just feel sorry for him now. I hope he finds himself and that there is happiness in his future. I'm thinking we can be friends, with no benefits.

Hot Mama

P.S.Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!

In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

The Kids

Single parent dating is so different from normal dating! Ughhhhh! People have many ways of going about it. I have found what I'm comfortable with and I've really tried to stick to it. A friend of mine did it completely opposite of me, in that she introduced her child to new boyfriends within a week or two of dating. Which gave her some help with the kid and I'm sure they got to spend more time together than if she never introduced them, but I remember what her daughter said after the last relationship ended: "Who's going to be my daddy now?" and "My mommy needs to find me a new daddy!"

In the beginning of my single parent dating adventures I never wanted anyone to meet my kids until we were both ready and I knew that if it didn't work out we would still be friendly towards each other. With the first guy it worked for awhile he did meet them once when he was helping me move and I introduced him as a friend. He really didn't seem too interested in them and as time went on, he became jealous of my time consuming motherly duties. So glad I dropped that one! That relationship also taught me that finding a man that has a decent relationship with their mother is important. If a man doesn't respect and love his mother, how can you expect him to respect you as a mother or a woman?? Something I previously didn't pay attention to, now it is a red flag in my book. If the first time I heard my kids' dad say he hated his mother and I knew it was a red flag I probably wouldn't have 3 kids right now!

I've only introduced two men to my kids, one of which I absolutely loved and he was a big part of our lives for all of about 3 months until he moved. We definitely jumped right into it... there was no denying our feelings and he sincerely showed my children love like a father would. My daughter was so sad when he left and she still asks about him, luckily I can tell her how he's doing and where he's living since we're still buddies.

So moving forward.... In my newest relationship with the single dad our kids know each other and they know the other parent as well. They are having to respect both parents rules and I must say they are doing pretty good with it. We all get along with each otherd are very comfortable. Now the tricky part. We've been spending a lot of time together and in the last couple weeks his children have called me 'mommy' quite a few times and earlier this week my oldest son called him 'daddy'. I think I handled it good, each time his kids called me mommy I went over to them and had a nice talk with them stating "uh-oh, did you call me mommy by accident?! You already have a mommy, right? I'm just a mommy to my children and you can call me by my name" Did I handle that right? Hopefully. I asked single dad about it, like if his kids had ever called someone else mommy and he said they hadn't and seemed pretty shocked about it.

Now let's get a little deeper here, single dad has custody 50% of the time, and I have sole custody of my children they haven't seen their dad in months. So his ex has heard from the kids about all the time we've spent together and the fact that I have slept in his bed. She was pissed that the kids knew. I probably would be too if the shoe was on the other foot.

The kids are going to have questions and we will have to provide answers. We are both worried about the kids, what they see and how they feel. My kids think we are just friends, I haven't told them any different. But the thought comes to mind, do I want my daughter thinking it's okay to sleep in a male friends bed? Do I want my son sleeping next to his female friends with the assumption of no commitment other that friendship? No way. Their opinions, standards, and beliefs are being formed right now and I want my kids to be safe, respectful, honest adults with integrity. I've got some figuring out to do.

Hot Mama

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Ready to Love Again

Possibly I'm not ready to move on. I've really tried but I found myself in bed last night laying next to the singe dad, and I just kept wishing that I was with the one that got away. My heart ached so bad, I held back tears eventually falling asleep. I HATE this! Then I thought of the man before him, we had a passion and love for each other that is unmatched to anything I have ever felt before. We didn't hold back anything, we were unconditionally loved by each other for who we were. Though it didn't last, I was okay afterward mostly because we never left anything unsaid. He moved away to pursue work, he wanted me to go with him but I didn't feel it would be good for my kids to move away from all that they know. So we're still friends, we talk and text and give advice. It's just a friendly kind of love now.

In my opinion it is definitely better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I've loved a few men in my life, all in different ways as the relationships were all so different. I would much rather love someone with all I've got and give into what could be than feel like I'm holding back and holding on to my past. I don't know if he can do the same though and that's what worries me right now. I'm still giving the single dad a chance. I'm giving myself a chance as well.

Hot Mama

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!

In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

Dating with Kids

Things seem to be moving forward. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. My past and what will soon be the past helps make me who I am today. Each relationship is different. I have never thought that "all men are the same". I have never entered a relationship expecting (or believing) it will turn out the same as previous ones. Though, I have recently had interactions with people that hold those beliefs. I honestly don't get it. Some people just can't let go of getting hurt in the past. Until you really examine yourself, your values, who you are and what you really want out of life and love you will keep recreating the same vicious cycle of relationships that don't give you want you need and want and in the end fall apart.

So what if you've been cheated on, don't enter a new relationship and then be so paranoid that you look at your partner with a microscope and try to find things that don't make sense and accuse them of cheating. Instead if you have been cheated on, especially if you were cheated on by multiple ex's LOOK AT YOURSELF!!! What is driving these people to cheat on you, what is wrong with you, why did you start a relationship with them, why did you stay and what was missing in those relationships???

I personally have had trust issues in the past. I was a young adult entering relationships, letting myself be "chosen" by someone and then sticking it out way too long even when I discovered neither of us could give eachother what we needed. After a few of those I did a lot of over thinking, reading and writing. I then chose to not get over involved emotionally. I decided I could get most of what I wanted and needed without becoming attached which honestly was a lot of fun, but it led me to "the one that got away". I had found someone that truly liked me for who I was and he wanted some of the emotion he may have wanted more I don't know because I held back. I played it cool, I didn't tell him know how I felt or what I really wanted out of the relationship.

On to the present. The single dad that I met ended up breaking up with his girlfriend. Actually I think she broke up with him because he was honest and told her that he had kissed someone else (me). So we've had a lot of playdates for the kids, we've had sleepovers and we even took all 5 kids out the other night for dinner, video games, bumper cars and lots of sugar. Our kids get along great, they're all BFF's and us adults get along well too. We parent pretty good together, we've cleaned house, had a few snowball fights and are starting to try and learn more about each other beyond our children and parenting.

Things are good. He wants to know more about me, I'm scared. I'm feeling a little lost, my kids are my life! Who am I and what do I like? I know who I was before kids, and that girl doesn't exist anymore. I don't skateboard or longboard anymore, I don't go on adventures in the forest hiking up mountains to natural hot springs, I don't go to concerts (unless they are outdoor and kid-friendly and on a weekend!) There are plenty of things that I like to do, but don't get to do anymore. So where does that leave me? Am I just a mom, who does all things in the best interest of the kids and nothing for herself?

Hot Mama

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!

In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

Second Chances

Wanted to see the softer side of me? Well, here goes a taste... About a year ago, I met someone amazing, spent a little over a month dating and enjoying every moment. It ended abruptly and I had no idea what happened.

(Check out the December 2010 archives for blog titles - Blackout and Another One Bites the Dust.)

I will refresh some of you a little: I met someone who "did it" for me and I mean in every way. I woke up thinking about her, constantly on my mind during the day, and before closing my eyes, it was her texts wishing me "sweet dreams". Of my last 3 years of dating, I have only met 3 that gave me a feeling close to this. And for those who don't know, I went on too many dates to recover the thoughts, and feelings she brought out in me. She was amazing (to say the least).. We went out many times, and did all the things I expected a true relationship to blossom... But one night it all ended! I awoke with an empty, lost feeling, and never knew what happened until yesterday. I, out of the blue (after over a year) wrote a email to her.

"Hey there.. This may sound crazy, but at this point it really wouldn't matter if it does. It's weird, but I still think about you from time to time. Maybe cuz I still have the Christmas presents I bought for you, or the fact that you're the coolest person/woman I met in a very long time. Either way, I hope all is well, and I'm truly sorry for whatever happened between us. I still have no clue, (and that sucks) especially cuz I was really happy with you. I just wanted to say hi, hope you're doing good, and it would be great to talk,if even only as friends."

If she only knew the struggles and hardships of even getting close to someone as me and her were, maybe she'd understand. But she is somewhat like me, we scare off easily at the beginnings of relationships. It takes time for certain words, sayings, and things to be done. If these things are done before the feelings are mutual, poof!!!! I'm gone!!. I'm not here to drag things out longer than necessary. So now it's a waiting game and somewhat like walking on a frozen lake until I know it's "safe" again.

So back to "what happened"... We went out one night, had way too many drinks, and that's all I remember..... Not even a word, text, or email afterwards. I was left clueless, and knowing she was more than a fling, I was crushed! After her I dated plenty, and never felt that way again, until yesterday. She actually responded!! I was like a kid in a candy store.. And now texts and coming back slowly but at least they're coming.. She told me, that I got way too wasted and after having to drive me home, it brought feeling of a horrible marriage and that she wanted no part of it. She was sorry for not leting me know what happened, but it was better. It was just as hard for her to explain. She was done with that kind of lifestyle, and it hurt her just as much.

So, sometimes we need to go through these hard times, and tests, in order to appreciate what's right in front of us. After tasting that feeling, I damn sure know I'm not gonna screw it up again.

The Man

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!

In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

You were burglarized?

Apparently my silence and lack of a response meant that I was kidnapped not simply that I'm not that into you! and so the conversation between Tim and my inbox continued with this message today. Mind you I have never spoken to this guy.

"Hey,

I just now realized what must have happened to you--

You must have been burglarized, and the only thing that horrible and wretched thief must have stole was your keyboard. I feel bad now you poor, poor soul... you must have been so traumatized just sitting there staring at my profile on the screen, clicking away futilely and slamming your mouse down in frustration multiple times while cursing the heavens that this had to happen to you today and that there’s no way for you respond to me.

Like I said... luckily for you, I’m an exceptionally perceptive guy. I mean how many other guys would know that is EXACTLY what happened to you with the limited information you gave me :) And since I’m also in the business of solving problems, here’s some solutions to help you get in contact with me:

1. Get some matches, grab 3 garbage cans, and arrange them in a triangle formation to set them all on fire simultaneously. This will create an accurate smoke triangulation signal so I can come over and find you. I'm like a modern-day knight in shining armor.

2. If you don’t have an active match account, you can text me at ***-***-**** so we can continue the conversation... otherwise I'll keep scanning the horizon for your smoke pillar!"


Kate

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!
In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

You Can't Be Serious!!

I reluctantly rejoined the online dating world last week and just as I expected it's only filled with 40 year old virgins and freaks. No wonder I'm still single. I haven't even had the desire to 'wink' at any of the men on the site, let alone respond to a message. Which brings me to the hilarious email I received the other day from a guy who I have never spoken to and after the second email I received today I definitely will never be speaking to.

Here's the first email. Mind you I have never had any correspondence with this guy.

"I like your style in the first pic u have up. The vibe I get is that you seem to be a person that seems to be pretty genuine and fun. I'm sure that's why I came across your profile, since they say like-minded people are drawn to each other!

Anyway I'm sure we could spend all day commenting back and forth about how awesome our profiles are, but I mean let's be honest -- the whole point of this site is just to get a brief glimpse of a person to see if there's a possibility of interest or not.

You might read that I do comedy or that I could make you laugh... you might have an interest in my marketing company or my philosophies on life, but realistically speaking -- I could be a chick for all you know that's just masquerading as a fun guy :)

I'm willing to show you that I'm the latter! Worst case? You might make a cool friend.

I’m Tim, I agree we should continue the conversation. When are you usually most free to chat?"


Follow up email in next blog.

Kate

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!

In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

Friday, January 13, 2012

The Marriage of Love Bites and Share the Love

So here we are in the new year! For all the pain that 2011 brought me, I
am forever thankful for the journey it forced me to take and for the
amazing people it introduced me to. 2012 is an opportunity to continue
growing and evolving and sharing the love.

I've made the decision to not make a New Year's resolution, but to be more
careful and cautious in future relationships. I've always believed that
passion, drive and determination must be the leading reasons for any
relationship, be it personal or professional.

For our new line of clothing, we employ the same boldness and honesty.
We have created a brand of apparel that speaks to both the optimist and the
pessimist about love that are in each of us on any given day.

Moving forward at Share the Love, a caffeine-induced brainstorming
session led to the idea of taking our clothing on the road and driving across
the country, selling apparel at college campuses. If you attend college in a
state between Georgia and California and want to buy our goods fresh off
the truck, hit me up at kate@sharetheloveclothing.com. Details to follow.

Moving forward at Love Bites, I've made the decision to combine my
greatest loves in an online forum that will allow all of you to become
more involved in our growing community. I welcome your thoughts and ideas.

2012 is not about reinvention, but rather improving oneself and learning
from the past. I wish you all a happy New Year, and, as always,
we encourage your input on Share the Love and Love Bites!

With Love,
Kate


P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!

In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

The Man is Back

Well here we go again. It’s been some time since I've written on here. I have totally lost interest in sharing my thoughts & stories, but I figured I'd write a little. At one time I actually thought that writing would help answer some questions women have, but so much have changed. It seems many just like clicking "like" on quotes, and most never even take the time to read the blog any more. I have always been upfront and honest and could care less of hurting your feelings. I say & do the things you're to scared to do or try... if you came here looking for someone to tell you the world is full of puppies and fairytales, your in the wrong fucking place!! I’m back for a limited time and not sure what the future holds for me.

I have grown to a point in which I have no feelings for anyone I date or meet. It seems more of a routine to me nowadays. The Internet has totally fucked me up. Its way too easy to say and do just enough to gain interest and get what I want. But let's face it; I'm not getting what I really want. I want to find someone with common interests who can keep things as exciting as I can. But why is it I can't find them all in one person? Let me give a few example dates: Meet, have drinks, get wasted, have sex, and 90% of the time say, "I have to work early, and go home". Next: meet, have dinner, and say "I would love to take my time with this one" and finally after a short period of time, get bored... or see they are the jealous type, and I make excuses and move on. It seems I can't just find one who does it all for me anymore!! It takes a few, and that sucks! I met one: Super cool, pretty, great sex drive, but no ass (and I'm an ass guy). Would it be wrong to buy her a butt, and some tits? Some may say that’s just so wrong, but hey.... I may just stay with her. If she only knew!! Then there are the ones I like, take my time... and when it goes sexual, it just isn’t right!! Grrrr!!

You may call me a dick, or say I'm superficial, but I like someone in shape! And who has a sex drive and knows how to use it! Most women want money, success, and a motivated man, I just want a smart, smokin' hot, barely used hooker type. I could care less what you have, or what you do... as long as you can take care of yourself. Also... I wont have a relationship with someone with 2 kids or more. I may one day want my own or at least have that option! These days women have so many things that alter our views, so we really don’t know what they really look like until it’s too late. (Examples: push-up bras, ass jeans, fake hair, make up, and clothes to transform their bodies into false lies) And you wonder why guys sleep with you once, and never again? Ha!! Now ya know! It was so much easier dating strippers... at least there I saw the goodies before I got em'. Now I got to blow smoke up your ass until I see what you're working with, or you blow it with too much lovey-dovey shit too soon. I honestly don't know how it feels to truly "like" someone anymore. I get let down every time! There is so much more to add to it, but I wont go into details. It’s just way too easy to talk shit to get laid.... I’m tired of talking shit!! I want it to mean something!

Is everyone so fucked up from their past relationships????? You may think I'm totally wrong, but lets see how many of you have been married, divorced, and have kids and still not with that guy. So go ahead and say I'm scared to get hurt, or scared of commitment.... and I'll tell you, No, I just don't want to fuck up my kids life, and raise new strippers, and girls who suck dick on the first date, because of watching mommy dating a ton of guys since daddy. Many of you WANT someone so badly, you lose yourself and you give up your goodies too fast!! And then wonder "where did all the good one's go"? Ummm.... he was the one you fucked after $60.00 of drinks and went home because "he had to work early in the morning" Get mad at me for telling the truth??? Please do!!

The Man

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!

In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Brutally Honest Liar

You all ready for more? I'm excited to hear about Love Bite's getting a makeover to be an online magazine, it just keeps getting better aye? Possibilities are endless! Alrighty... 2012 has started, I'm off and running with no shortage of rambling.

Happy New Year to all! For me, this is going to be another year of changes. All for the good I am sure! This year has started off great and I've been on a new adventure of dating single dads. I was so frustrated with the online dating, and stuck on my last relationship and the one that got away. So when I had basically given up and stopped looking someone else took a chance. It was an awkward meeting, our kids have known each other for the last year. Yet we had never met, until we were seated next to each other in a restaurant and the kids were so excited and wanted to have a play date.

And it took off from there. He seemed nice, we put our kids in daycare for New Years Eve night and got to hang out with some of his friends for dinner and celebrate at midnight with champagne. The kids got to have a sleepover and we got to continue celebrating. We had multiple play dates and the kids get a long so well, and so did we. But I'm so over it. He told me that he had been dating someone, he said it was "nothing serious". What a bunch of b.s. The other night he referred to her as his "girlfriend". It's clear he wants to keep his girlfriend, but have his own little play dates on the side. I've been in that situation before. This time I'm not up for it.

Why can't people just be honest?!?! I am honest, sometimes brutally honest. Unfortunately, those nice guys that actually listen and seem to care they really do finish last. I am completely unattracted to those nice guys. My heart goes pitter-patter for the man, who in the end will end up being the biggest ass of all. I've tried to like those nice guys, but I cannot lead someone on when I don't feel any chemistry. I have tried to have male friends, but I've found time and time again they are just being friends with me because they want to be more than friends. I'm tired of it, I need to either become a lesbian or befriend a group of gay men. Something has got to give.

I want the fairy tale. The one that I have always believed in. Though I have seen no proof that it even exists. I still search, I have faith. It's like video poker, you get so close to winning big and every time you loose you just "know" your going to win the next time. So you keep playing on a vicious cycle, believing that next time you'll be the one. Sometimes you win a little, it keeps you going believing and feeling stronger. Other times just hearing about someone else winning gives you faith that it's still out there and that your time just hasn't come yet.

I am caught in the middle somewhere. It all seems endless, dark and empty. Though I am still faithful to this elusive ideal, I feel hopeless right now. So, again I will set focus on myself to retrieve my inner happiness. I love myself and who I am whole heartedly. I like to feel that I let go of the past easily, but everything that has happened is a part of who I am today. My heart has never been broken (though possibly a little chipped) it has only been made stronger.

Hot Mama (Love Bites Guest Writer #2)

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!
In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

The One That Got Away

I took a chance. I don't generally have unreal expectations. I go with the flow, I don't seem to have my heart on my sleeve. I probably won't tell you or show you how I really feel unless I believe and have seen that you really care about me and that we have a future even if we are not dating or in an exclusive relationship anymore. I guard my heart, I protect my children. But possibly I held back too much and let someone really great get away from me. I got scared that I really liked this man, and in order to protect myself I played it cool. I took it too far though. We have left a lot unsaid. He moved away as he had planned in search of something. We dated for the better part of a year. We took time away from each other and reconnected when the time was right. We never had a big "break up" I'm not up for drama and neither was he.

A man I once dated said "The one that shows the least interest has all the control in the relationship" Is that really true? Possibly. I gave up on that today though. He wins and loses all at once. I emailed him. I don't know if he will respond to it, and it doesn't matter because I said what I wanted and needed to. I will eventually move on and not make the same mistake.

I believe he is the one that got away. I am stuck thinking about him and the times we had. Obstacles are not bad... they just make you stronger, make you hold out for what you really want, and sometimes make you realize that you were headed in the wrong direction. I need something big to happen in order to get over all this. Perhaps someone about 5'10, attractive, confident, well off financially emotionally and spiritually would help!

Hot Mama (Love Bites Guest Writer #2)

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, WWW.SHARETHELOVECLOTHING.COM is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.