Thursday, September 22, 2011

Lost Mojo

Taking the advice of The Man I recently revised my online dating profile to be more witty and honest with a dash of jackass. Seeing how it worked wonders when he told women he was "not looking for a relationship and might not return messages often."

At first it seemed to be working. More men were starting conversations, but the crop of eligible bachelors online is very depressing and slim picking.

Potential matches included a 38 yr. old guy who made a point of mentioning he owned a condo in his profile and that for fun on the weekend he was renovating the bathroom which made him feel so grown up. (This wasn't a joke.)
Actually you sound boring and too "grown up" for me.

The Catholic school teacher who volunteered on the weekends at the local Church.
What part of I am not religious did you not get?

The fifty-two year old who the hell knows.
Seriously? You need to get your eyes checks, because clearly you must have read my "seeking men 30-38 yrs. old" as something very different.

When I did a reverse search, where you can see who is looking for someone like you. It showed me men primarily in Atlanta, Arkansas and Colorado. All of whom look like they may have been on Dateline's To Catch a Predator.

I thought honesty was the best policy, but I'm starting to think that when it comes to online dating it makes men afraid to start a conversation.

Here is my rather hilarious attitude filled profile:

Trying to pitch myself on a dating site is not exactly easy or something I ever imagined doing, but the bar scene isn't exactly what it use to be. Walking around in high heels is fun a couple nights a week, but not every night. If I can lounge around at home and still possibly meet a great guy I figured why not give this whole online dating thing a spin.

I'm an adventurous gal with a dry sense of humor. I'm brutally honest about what I want which can be misread. If you are a banker, lawyer or any other office type 9-5 job we probably won't have a good chemistry in person. I don't want to waste your time either.

I'm NOT looking to be engaged or married any time in the near future or possibly ever. I've been down that road already and it didn't end well. I would like to have kids one day, but again not in the near future (at least 3 years from now). So, if you are in a rush to put a ring on it or are looking for a housewife I'm not your cup of tea.

I'm not necessarily looking for anything more than a fun guy to spend time with. I don't have a lot of free time, but I will make time for the right guy.

What I'm looking for in a guy is someone who is adventurous, funny, a risk taker, ambitious and confident. I also like a man who has a creative side and has a great sense of humor. When we’re not working, I want to be able to laugh hard and laugh often.

Things to know about me and Match:

1) If you favorite me on here before we have even communicated I will not respond. It's odd and is a turn off.

2) Please don't just wink - either wink and send a short message or just send a message. If you are interested say so. Don't fear rejection.

3) I am not your Sweetie, Honey or any other baby name and I never will be.

3) There is a reason why we both took the time to answer basic questions about ourselves. It can quickly eliminate our matches so neither party is wasting their time. Therefore,
If your Sundays revolve around what time Church is please don't bother contacting me.
If you absolutely do not want kids ever, again do not contact me.
If you are old enough to be my father, do not contact me.

If you are still reading, hit me up. No harm in a friendly chit chat via a computer screen. I won't bite. I promise. :)


Monday, September 19, 2011

Stupid Crazy Love

You lift another spoonful of food into your mouth as she drones on about her day...something about wearing the wrong slacks to the meeting - black instead of gray. You stare down at your plate and push some overcooked carrots to the edge. You look up at her, a faint moustache visible from the overhead lighting.

Yeah, she's okay - You've been dating a couple of months, but things have plateaued - Is this really it? You've both settled into the comfort zone - Netflix and Chinese food.
Slowly looking up, across the restaurant, you can't help but notice the two hot blondes in spandex, tight shorts and taught ponytails. They're on their third drink and boy are they having fun...
You return to your girl, hoping the check would come so you could sulk out of the joint, back to the comfort and familiarity of your apartment.

How'd you end up with Sarah, anyhow? An introduction from your cousin...she looked so good that day at the BBQ... Or did she? A few extra pounds here and there, and a smile that showed too much tooth - but hey, she was sweet.
"I never dated a really hot girl," you think.
You signal to the waiter - "Check, please." You look back at Sarah and she's still talking, but you've lost her.... Oh, yeah... what happened at work. Something about a broken copier...
You look up the hotties and your stomach sinks deeper when see a third smoking hot girl - this one brunette - approach their table and pull out a chair. And wait...what's this...? A guy, just like you, is arm-in-arm with her? Everyone's laughing; the two blondes get up and go around the table to hug the guy. Clearly, he's the man.

You check him out - what's he got that you don't? Same height, same clothes. He even looks kind of like you... What gives? Why does this guy get the hotties and you don't?
Isn't it time you stepped up to the plate and learned how to get what you really want?
Aren't you sick of watching all the actions from the sidelines, settling for less than you deserve?

You can be that guy! But in order to make this happen, you need to take action now. It works, all you have to do is take the next need to know a few VERY important things. After talking to numerous women I discovered a few things they can all agree on. After all the money, looks, success, the one thing they can all agree on is that: THEY WANT A CONFIDENT MAN!! Not they cocky type, just one who can pull it all together. You don't need to be the best dressed, the most paid, the most successful, or the most hung. You just need to know YOU are important enough, and that inside you have other options if she doesn’t work out. may wonder, "How is this possible?" Well. (Women are going to hate this) but this is how you build a relationship/one night stand/marriage material, or whatever you're really looking for:

Geez, I really shouldn't tell you this, but it works for women as well... Next time you go out, (or you may already have one), find someone who really likes you, for you. Smooth talk them a little, and build a friendly relationship. Sometimes things happen, and you may even like them, after giving them a chance. We all have a friend that we know would do it, if we gave them the chance. It doesn’t matter if they're your "type" at all. What you're doing is: Building confidence. You can finally do whatever with someone, whenever you want! Let them know upfront that you just want to have "fun". Some will go along with it (especially most men), while some women will not, but we all have at least one that would rather have "fun" than nothing at all. Now...I'm not saying they need to be a "fuck buddy", just someone to hang with so you're not lonely and looking desperate when looking for Ms. Right.

During this time, you can use them to tell you what you're doing right, or wrong. Both of you are in fact, helping each other finding "the one". The next steps are to improve on these things in order to be prepared for the real deal. (Women often rate us upon these things)

a) Conversation skills
b) Attractiveness
c) Humor
d) Relationship potential

After you know you have "options", there aren’t the added pressures to impress. You may usually try everything to get that one, but sometimes you push them away with all the bullshit you practice. With confidence alone, you wont need the corny pick-up lines, the best clothes, the nicest cars, or be the richest guy.... You can finally be yourself, and get what you deserve. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it."
The Man

Monday, September 12, 2011


It sure has been a while since my last blog. I just lost motivation in writing about myself and putting my life out there to be judged, but perhaps with the new addition of "Queen of mean", (whom I just love after I read her response to an idiot) things will get a lil' spicy again. I first must say welcome to the inner circle of Love Bites, and let's bring on some stories to help get this page rolling again.

Where have I been? what have I been up to? Ha! well....many of you know I'm the type to take extreme risks for happiness.I have always lived with the motto "live live to the fullest, with nothing left unanswered". Here goes a few more adventures to add to them. As many of you know, I am on a few dating sites(as some of you have tried as well), and I work it like a mad-man! I think some days I put more hours into that, than my real job. Do I have an addiction with it? Perhaps, but like I always said before "I tend to get what I want". Some could call me a player, but others realize the difficulties of finding what they want, don't want, and what they could be happy with. Generally my happiness is momentary and then I find the flaws that I have had in the past, I know I don't want that again. So let me bring on some stories.

Months ago I met someone online, and we were chatting for a while. We then took the next step and exchanged numbers. We met and hit it off right away. (This almost always happens with me, if I find her attractive). I'm not cocky, I am just extremely lucky I guess. Trust me, if I knew how I did it, I would bottle it, and sell it on E-bay all day long. I really have no idea what it is about me that brings this attraction to some women, but I ain't complaining.

So we "dated" for a bit (mostly drunken nights) and not too much otherwise. It wasn't a "keeper" type, but it filled my time perfectly, and was just what I needed til the right one came along. We never stated we were "dating" and pretty much just did one night a week. There were no "I want more, I love you, can we bring to another level" we had an "unspoken understanding". Now with this said, I liked her! She never asked for more, or pushed the relationship. She allowed it to remain how it was. This is a big thing for me.

Usually women push and push for more, and I tend to walk, then run away. Please, look for these signs/signals if you want a long-lasting relationship. Just let things happen it their natural order. No need to rush or push anything. I believe if more women would act less emotional, they would have less problems with relationships lasting only a few weeks. Too many times Ive entered into a relationship, and within weeks, sometimes days, I get the "stalker side" (the one who calls and calls wondering where you are), or the "jealous one" who constantly thinks you're up to no good. Caring about what someone is doing is one thing, but constant questioning pushes most of us away. Oops, I'm rambling... ok so back to her.

Things were great (for me), she was only in town a few weekends a month, and didn't really want too much more than what she was getting. She had an up-coming business event that was going to keep her out of town for a month, or my thinking was...I kinda want someone to have fun with while she was gone. I headed back to my trusty sites, and began chatting. Within a day or two, I found someone to fill her void. A beautiful 20-something model whom was recently seperated. She lived about 9hrs away so driving wasn't an option to meet. Chats became more and more, as the trust levels were built. One night, as I was about to fall asleap, she texted to say "I can't wait any longer to meet you, I booked a ticket to see you". WHOA!!! that was pretty cool! I didn't even have to come outta pocket. LOL Plans were set, and the ball was rolling. The "other" was headed out of town, and this one was arriving a few days later. I couldnt have asked for more... or so I thought! Here's where my risk-taking gets crazy....
The Man

Juggling Act

The model arrives in town, we meet and a connection was made. I was committed to having a somewhat stranger live with me, for who knows how long. I never asked about how long she would stay. I assumed it was just for the weekend, or a week...but to my suprise she didn't leave for a month!!! The first couple days were great! Then I started freaking out! I have a stranger living in my house! I had no idea she would stay that long. Well, I had to suck it up, and make the best of it. The same time, the "other" texts/calls me every once and a while. The hiding/avoiding getting caught was crazy! But I pulled it off!....or so I thought.

Here's where it gets even better....... The "other" decides she is driving back, instead of flying. So guess what??? She buys me a ticket to drive back with her. Hahahhahaa!!! Holy Shit! How am I gonna pull this one off? I'm no pro at lying, but I did pretty well for a last minute thing. I was now a "Transporter" whom, on the weekends, drives cars for a dealer across the U.S. LMAO!!! I explained "I needed the extra money and do this on the weekends"

So here's the tricky part.....I fly to Chicago to drive the "other" back, while some stranger is at my house. I fly out and meet the "other". I needed to return ASAP but can't really let her know about "my dad" is flying into town, I say. She buys it and we head back to Miami. I am fuckin nuts! I have someone I barely know at my house, and I'm driving across the US with another. I was somewhat amused at this. Crazy? Yea, I know!!

Well, I became a pro... calls were made at every rest stop to confirm everything was ok, and the "other" thinking my dad arrives the following day. 23 hours later, we arrive in Miami. Now I had thought of this prior to leaving: Park car at airport so she doesn't have to go to your house (I'm a fricken genius lol) Well, that was great, until...."come sleep with me tonight, it's been a while since I've seen you" comes out of her mouth. CRAP!!! Ok, but I need to leave early in the morning. Plan worked perfectly! or so I thought..... The week went by, and the "other" wanted to see me over the weekend. I told her I had plans with my father, but as I could see, she was on to me. She wanted to meet him, and even offered to swing by my house for a minute. Ummm..... Sorry but I'll try to see you next weekend. I had to keep them both happy (which was tough!) but I managed to do ok.

As the weeks passed, I pulled off the impossible and was suprised at the outcome. I had grown attached to how trusting both of them were. I actually felt like shit! It was exciting and all, but it wasn't me. I'm no player! I am always honest and I really began to grow feelings for both.

Now what would I do? I have one who lives close (super cool and a lot of fun) and the other (whom lives hours away, and is still legally married). My thought procees has been running wild, too many tough decisions to make....If I decide the far one, there will be no "dating process", she would have to move in (HUGE STEP), or continue doing what I've always done with the other... Well, the choice was made for me. The "other" (close one) decided I didn't have enough time for her and began dating. The young one is in the divorce process and must remain up north until everything settles, but do I want to take this type of step? Hmm.....(to be continued)
The Man

How To Be a Jackass and Win

After writing my prior blog, I decided to ask around a little and try to come up with a few reasons some guys get the ones they want. Now I could be totally wrong, but some of this has worked for me. I was once where you are... thinking I was a nice, sensitive guy who had to sit around "wishing" and "wanting" women who had no interest in me (out of being a friend) because I was too shy, not good-looking enough, not rich enough etc.

But then, I quickly realized that I had it all wrong. Instead of thinking that I was a nice, sensitive guy that needed to be richer or better-looking to get women, I realized what I really needed was to be the guy that women really want. I came up with my "I dont give a crap if I get her or not attitude."

You see... this is why women often date "jerks" and guys who are emotionally unavailable and don't date us "nice guys" who would do anything for them. It's because, as my ultimate law for success with women goes... attraction isn't a choice. In other words, women do not sit down and make a list of the qualities that a particular guy has, then think it over for a few days, then decide whether or not to feel attraction.
Just doesn't happen.
Attraction is either there or it isn't, and it happens in an instant. Plus, to mess up a "nice" guy's thinking even more, it happens for all kinds of "illogical" reasons... reasons that even a woman who is feeling it can't usually describe.

So what's the answer here?

The answer here is realizing that... most likely... many of the "nice" things you're doing while you're around women you feel attracted to (and who consider you "just a friend") are actually ruining your chances with them.
You must understand that you sometimes have to do things that seem to be "inconsiderate" in order to give a woman what she really wants... which is act like a man who is in control of himself, the situation, and often her. You have to stop doing the nice, sensitive things that say "I'm a Wussy" -- because these are the very things that torpedo any chance you have of success with the women you really want.
Instead, start doing the things that really work with women...
Be calm and confident.
Act Cocky & Funny.
Bust on women and give them a hard time.
Lead the way, don't follow.
Now, of course, one of the problems that a lot of guys run into is "putting together" all these different personality traits is that don't seem to go together. Many of the things women say they want in a man seem to conflict with each other. Women say that they want guys who sensitive... but always go for the "bad boy".

What's a guy to do?

Well, here's what I did:

I gave up my old ways of thinking and learned what really works.
Not what sounds like it might work.
Not what should work in a "logical" world.
And not what is supposed to work according to all those touchy-feely self-help books (...and what your mommy taught you).
I avoided all the bad advice (that never got real results) and figure out what "works" and I started out with a huge disadvantage. And I'm not talking about a disadvantage of my plain looks. I'm talking about a disadvantage of all this bad advice. This bad "programming."

We all had this pre-determined "map" in our mind of how we thought we should behave around women... and it turned out to be the wrong map. A total game- killer. And the most frustrating part was that when I did the things that should work, they actually made women even less into me!

It was like the whole world wasn't working right... I would be so sweet, sensitive and nice, and then woman would not even want to talk to me.
I would call often and share my feelings with her, and she would still fall for the rude jerk who could care less about treating her well.
Well, I stuck with it anyway. I kept trying to figure out what works... even though the things I was doing weren't working. And the magic "breakthrough" came:
You can have the smoothest "pick up lines" in the world... do "nice" things for women all day long... but if you don't understand ATTRACTION, these things will backfire and wind up pushing women away from you.

That's why, even though "jerks" and "bad boys" don't treat women well, it doesn't mean that women don't feel attraction for them. In fact, women report feeling incredibly attracted to these kinds of men... so powerfully, in fact, that they can't control their feelings... Whether a women likes you or not as "more than a friend" is often decided right away. Stop living in the "friend zone" and make a change to get what you deserve. What do you have to lose?
The Man