Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Temporary Lifetime

I find myself in a gray zone these days. Wanting someone who is becoming more of a chase and a fantasy than touchable and real. His profile is losing focus as the days go by and I'm not sure if this is a good sign or a disconnect.
If a tattoo is a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling than the same could be said of photos. A temporary moment frozen in time, living on for a lifetime in a Polaroid.
I haven't let myself get caught up in the thought of "the one" because we all know how well that ended the last time. Instead I tell myself to just enjoy whatever time I do get with McDreamy. Maybe he isn't "the one," but maybe he is. If I don't expect much then I can only be granted beautiful things.
A big part of me can't grasp that we will ever last until death do us part, but until tomorrow is a pretty great feeling, at least for now. In many ways I feel as thou he was brought into my life for a reason. Back then I was on the edge of a tipping point. I had the option to dive into the deep end and pretend the past never happened or to embrace change and face my fears. In the short while I have known McDreamy, his encouragement and sweet words have let me believe there is a sublime happiness and a new future on the horizon. I'm not afraid of loss or rejection and I'm learning to appreciate life one day at a time. Once you let yourself just be, life becomes pretty grand.
I have put a large amount of hope and thought into what I want. Not what others want or what I have done, but rather what makes me happy today and if one day McDreamy and I part ways I can at least walk away happy to be me. Whether it's alone or with a lifetime of Hallmark memories.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Think before you post a comment. With that in mind, we love comments, even the rude ones and remember whatever you write on here will live on forever.