Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Anonymous Rant

My, what angry and rude people are out in cyber space? While I appreciate your comments and I understand where you are coming from, until you have been in my shoes I ask that you don't judge me and my actions and ranting at face value. There is so much more to this story that I haven't said nor do I have the time or patience to relive.
I realize that my entries over the last month have been going on and on about the same topic and same person. It's called writing and there will be others I will write about someday. I also want to make it very clear that I DO NOT want JSR. I think it's fabulous that he has created this adorable family and I think the wife is super nice and a fabulous wife and mother. I have nothing against her. I don't want to be her. It's not a life I have ever wanted, regardless of whom the man was.
I am going to go back to the beginning here and back to the simple question I had been looking for. Why? Why find me after four years? Why befriend me again? Why introduce me to your family? Why me? These are logical questions. It's not like we broke up, he got me married and I was jealous and started obsessing. He found me again after getting married and I was married too. That's the unanswered question why? So, while the wife might be this perfect person, JSR is far from it.
Am I obsessing? Perhaps I am and perhaps if this minor defriendship had occurred when life was going great it wouldn't have had such a profound effect on me. But, such is life, when one thing goes wrong; a domino effect starts to happen. Maybe I should be talking about the divorce, or the funerals, or the depression, or the months of therapy, or the car accidents, or the fire that all occurred within the following few months. So while I appreciate your words of wisdom and advice and I can see how from an outsider’s perspective my words and rants might seem a bit much, I have moved on.
I guard my choices and people I choose to let into my life far more. I am pissed that someone was capable of taking away the one thing in my life I never guarded. The one place in the whole world I was in love with.
You are right I don't know what the wife knew about me. It wasn't my place to ask and honestly I didn't care I didn't ask to brought into their new life. But, I was brought in, for what reason who knows and who cares anymore.
Maybe last week when I said I would be taking a break from Love Bites I should have stayed with that thought and not let SP trick me into coming back. But, now I've got lots more to write, so thanks anonymous readers. That's the thing about being anonymous, you don't want to be found, so you feel safe behind your computer screen telling strangers what they did wrong and why they are bad people, when in reality you have no right to say "let it go" until you have lived the last nine months in my shoes. This is my way of letting it go. Letting everything go, not just JSR, he is only the beginning. Perhaps not in your typical way, but it is working for me.
Heartbreak and death throw your life path off track, but it takes true friends and different forms of grief to put you back on a new and better path.
Have a good one y'all.
Oh and my name, my real name is Kate.


  1. And mine is Charity... are you really that naive that I would not catch on....so stop posting about me and my family online. I too thought you were quite nice and i was mad at him for cutting you off, but this open diary is emabarrising, imature and unexcuseable!

  2. I'm sorry you are hurt. So was I, as I didn't know what I had done. All I had asked for was a simple answer to a simple question, but at last never got it. So here we are today and while you may think this story is about you really it could be about anyone. Had I gotten a response all those months ago I would have let it go then, but unfortunately for you this is my life and my story. Oh and by the way next time you post something maybe you should spell check it first. Thanks for the comment and feel free to continue reading the blog. Have a great day !

  3. Yes it is your life, but also mine, his, and my daughter. And about spell check, as I'm infuriated as I read on day after day, spell check is not critical to post. In addition MV, you too would have never worked out, you are too picky and organized, JSR doesn't know how to spell a word and eventually it would gotten under skin where in turn I Love. Have a nice life I truly wish you the best.

  4. Keep reading and reading. You are right it never would have worked out. I have bigger goals in life I guess. Oh that hurts, too picky and organized. Didn't realize those were bad things. But as last the one and only question has yet to be answered. Have a great life. I know I am, by the way thanks so much. Had it not been for your jackass, cowardly husband I wouldn't be writing a book. So thanks again.

  5. I'm glad to hear of your successes, keep moving forward, as for the book, make sure to protect the innocent, if not get authorization.

    As for your referencing to my husband or my friend, he wasn't so bad where you wasted 10 years of your life in and out (emotionally that is) so please Don't get offensive, theres a saying a Spanish "That what is trash for one, is precious treasure for another"... this is not so bad if its brining you success and and needless-to say it seems a chunk of coal to you was a diamond in the rough for me, when handled right...

    Truly MV this was all an innocent mishandled situation, where he cut you off because you would chat at 1130pm when i was in bed with him and you should have been with your spouse... he was afraid I would one day misunderstand. He felt he had a lot to loose if I got upset, not if you got upset, you had been out of the picture for 4 years it was ok to detach again, poorly handled but old news.So theres your 'why' answer because when you defrieneded me i was upset with him....but then again you didn't know that... This is the truth! but this is the end of this chapter and you have so much more to enjoy and look forward to that wasting your time on us cookie cut people...officially signing off.

  6. A bit to late for minor answers don't you think. Answer that in the beginning and all would have been well. But we are months later and there never would have been an answer if you hadn't found this blog. It's a cowardly thing to do. To not tell someone why? Especially when they didn't do anything. It's to late for I'm sorry, sorry. Take this as your lesson in communication or lack of communication and what profound effects it can have on a person. I'm not sure I would be making it public that my trash is your treasure. But,that's up to you. Again, I will say that none of this had to become public. Even after seeing this blog and the fan page (there is one on FB) you could have privately explained yourself and your poor actions. But, at last no one did. No feelings would have been hurt back then. I would have understood. But, I never got a reason. By the way, I defriended you after he defriended me, again with no reason. To think you knew someone and than come to find out you never knew them at all is a brutal feeling. Perhaps more painful than death. Although it is a death in a way. A bittersweet ending to a bittersweet year. I truly wish you all the best. I mean this. I always have. Kate


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