Monday, June 28, 2010

Burnt Out

Candy wiped me out???? Hahahhaahhaaa!! Naaa, not with my sweet tooth. I have just come to a point where I realized I am not happy. I might use the easiness to my advantage and in turn may have become a type of JSR. The biggest difference is that if I am not interested in someone, I don't show interest. I don't go out of my way, never make plans, and sometimes only call when I don't have better plans.
Recently things have become easier that ever before. For example: on the site I am on, I had someone write to me. They were attractive, but not my exact "type". I had nothing to do so we decided to meet. As we walked towards each other, I knew this one wasn't for me. (Attractive but a little heavier than I like) not fat, not skinny, but "thick" as some say. As we proceeded to have a few drinks, she wanted to ask me a question: (her) "I can tell you are not really interested in me, but we are adults and if you wanted to share some good adult fun, I would not expect a phone call" (Me) I was amazed by her honesty and asked how she knew. She then told me it was my posture and the look as she approached. Now with that in mind, I already knew how the night could end. Those are the words any man would love to hear...
Example 2: I had been talking back and forth, met her once, had a slight attraction, but again, NOT WIFE OR GF MATERIAL. We still shared phone calls, decided to be friends, and then received this text: "Hey, I just wanted to say, I know why we didn't go out after we first met. I just wanted to say, I know I will not be your future wife, but I am sexually attracted to you and we could have "fun" whenever you want. (Me) You always invited me out with you, I have been really busy with work (lied because I didn't want to hurt her feelings) I think you and I would have fun if it went to a different level but, (LADIES PAY ATTENTION TO THIS) I am not looking for anything serious at this point and I didn’t want to hurt you. I know how I am and that if I went over to your house to watch a movie, like you suggested, I think something may happen between us. I don’t want to ruin our friendship over sex. (Her) I am a big girl and can handle it! That's why I wanted you over...not to watch a movie.
I just don't know what to do anymore.... I want a committed relationship, but just haven’t found "the one”. Am I supposed to turn this down? I am just as lonely as they are. Why are all these offers coming my way? Does this happen to everyone? I am just lost in an environment based on lustful thoughts and infatuations. Sure, it is a great feeling to feel this wanted...but I sometimes think of their feelings. I stated the truth, told them there was no future, they would be "fun” and they accept with no regrets, but somehow I feel wrong to be doing this. Men are generally a sex-based creature as women are driven on an emotional stimulation. Do I attract all women who don't care about mental stimulation? Maybe women have changed after all these years I was in my relationship...maybe it is the age...that knows!
It's just the same old stories. I think I'm going to give up on dating for a while and save money...adding it up, I could buy a Ferrari or something with what I save every weekend...then maybe I can get a woman I am more attracted to...Naaa, j/k. but I am so tired of the B.S
The Man

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