Friday, June 18, 2010

The Story of M

"Everything is based on mind, is led by mind, is fashioned by mind. If you speak and act with a polluted mind, suffering will follow you, as the wheels of the oxcart follow the footsteps of the ox. Everything is based on mind, is led by mind, is fashioned by mind. If you speak and act with a pure mind, happiness will follow you, as a shadow clings to a form." - Buddha

The story I have been writing about is a true story. It's my life. Somedays I wish it was a fictional tale, but today life is good. In the brief few months since we started this blog we have endured harsh criticism and glorious praise. We don't aim to please. How could we? We are writing about our lives not a made up fairytale gone arye. For my part, I have tried from the beginning to maintain a sense of pride and dignity for the people who I don't always portray in the best light.
It doesn't matter what alias name I picked for these people. There will always be a Kate, Marc, Dylan, Charity, John, Summer, J, Andy or any other name in any state (this narrows it down to the United States), be it New York, Florida, Connecticut, Texas or California (Just to name a few) that once dated, had a fling with or was once married to. I would bet any number of these people then took to the Internet and told their stories. So what's to say that the M or JSR I am talking about is indeed the same M or JSR that you know or for that matter that his real initials are MF. I'm sure there are a million other men with the initials MF whom at one time or another lived in the state of Florida and are also cowardly jackasses. Some people think they personally know me and think they personally know the JSR I have been writing about. Perhaps they are correct, but in order for this to be true my name in the real world would have to be Kate. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't?
That's the beauty of a computer and a keyboard; we can be whoever we want to be. Drama and sex sell, so I was excited and intrigued earlier this month when a small group of readers suddenly became overly vocal in regard to our posts. A part of me would have loved the back and forth bitching storm to continue, but the unproductive rant finally ended. Being anonymous has its perks, one of which is the ability to type without caution or concern.
We decided to remove the comment feature for the moment mostly because it was becoming bothersome. Certain comments were more disturbing than hurtful, but nonetheless not pleasant to read. Some people will never learn from their mistakes and others will never forget the repeated bashing to their core. Pain at times is a fabulous feeling. A free falling drug that can grant you the ability to discover sublime happiness. It took me months to get to the end of the dark tunnel. I was skeptical at first about my talent as a virgin writer and slightly afraid to put myself and my life story out for the world to read and be little. People have again tried to break me and for brief moments I was bruised, but if I have learned nothing in the last nine months it's that I'm the lucky one. I may have walked away alone, but alone if far less complicated and far more freeing. I didn't get the guy, but then I never wanted him to begin with. If I was in love with him don't you think I would have named him Prince Charming or The Love of My Life? Instead I named him Jackass Sewer Rat (JSR).
I've given you three months of foreplay, a preview or two of juicy gossip and a scandal. You didn't really think I would put JSR to rest already? We committed to a year; we've still got nine months left. So, with that let the story of M begin.

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