Monday, May 31, 2010

Dating with Baggage

I assume there are always times where we think this may be "the one", but reality is we never really know, until we know. Why do we get our hopes up? Maybe because we want it so badly, we think it's our turn, or there is so many things in common that we think to ourselves it couldn't be more perfect. In fact, nothing is perfect; we create what is perfect for ourselves. I also believed that one day I would finally meet Mrs. right for me. I have dated hundreds; I know what I like, what I don’t like, and what I can live with.
Let me start off with a little more of the story. I am 36, she was 43, I have never been married, she has, I have no children, she has one (17) she has tried the dating scene but wants a "relationship", so do I, we had so much in common as far as our likes/dislikes, and the kicker, born on the same day! I thought that would be my storybook ending.
Friday night: The date was perfect, neither one of us could really eat, due to our nervousness, so we just had drinks and enjoyed each others company. There were times where no words had to be said, I asked if she was uncomfortable with the silence, but all words were spoken through body language and our hands. (Nothing dirty) A feeling of fresh air at last! It seems I’ve been breathing through a straw until I met her. Many things were said to me that otherwise I would have run away, but I loved to hear those words coming out of her mouth. She was everything I ever hoped for and thought finally it's my turn! We talked about the next days' plan as we took a walk. Time didn't matter, but as I looked around, I noticed we were the only two left, and it had been the most enjoyable 5 hours I have ever had. I wanted to hurry home so I could sleep and see her again. We said our goodbyes. On the drive home we spoke the whole way home, talking about how amazing it was.
Saturday: I woke with a text from her (which put a huge smile on my face). She wanted me to come to see her as soon as possible, and I wanted the same. As I pulled in, she awaited me in the most perfect sundress, hair tied back, and a hug and kiss that were heaven sent. I asked what she wanted to do, she mentioned, "if you don't mind, lets just relax and watch some movies. Sounded great to me! Her house was spotless, smelled great and had touches of class & style everywhere. We shared a few glasses of wine, talked much more, and decided to put the movies in. She then stated that it was much more comfortable in her bedroom watching the movies. (Some will say that is a great sign, but I didn't want to sleep with her yet...well, I did want to, but I prefer to wait) I was laying next to her, her door was open, I was unsure if her son would come home, so I behaved as any gentleman would. We didn't even share a kiss...that was strange to me, I gave her a back rub and didn't receive the affection I had prior received. One movie down, and hours of more talking. (Everything was flowing perfectly). I thought due to the fact her son may come home, is why the affection may had been lacking, due to the night before. She prepared dinner and insisted I didn't help. Again me with the affectionate soft kissing of the neck & shoulders, and a warm hug and kiss met me this time. She mentioned there was a graduation party of a friends of her the following day, and asked If I would join her. (Great sign. she wanted to introduce me to her friends). It was getting late and again we said our goodbyes. Which brings me to Sunday and today.

Sunday: I awake without a text (like every other morning the past week). I called and no answer, so I sent a text. I received a text "I have been in bed all morning, I don’t feel good today" Hmmmm, that's weird I thought so I hoped she felt better and wondered if she was going to go to the party later...a few hours later she said" if I feel better" I didn't get my normal good night, missing you, or any thing good this day. My mind was racing, "Did I do something wrong", "Is this another one full of crap", "What changed?" Maybe she didn't really feel good, but at least a courtesy text I felt I deserved. Maybe the fact that whatever guy she tried to date, her son tried to push away.... I’m just not sure!

Her son: 17 years old, doesn’t have a girlfriend, somewhat a momma's boy. Years ago, there was a bad storm in her country and she lost him for almost two weeks and stated she would never leave his side again. Could this be the reason? Was I what she wanted and that scared her? Was she thinking of his feelings instead of her own? Too much was so right. He returned home after I had left and I have never met him. He was at the beach while I was there and didn't come home til after I left. This puts me in a strange place...I am usually the one being chased, desired, and told, "I am exactly what they want”. For the first time, in a very long time, she could be all I wanted, but could this be the first sign she would run when things get tough? I stand alone, my mind & me.
Glad to see you're back "love guru" aka MV.
The Man

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