Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Los Angeles Men

It’s hard to meet new people anywhere, but Los Angeles is a city where your car is a second home. Going out takes planning, taxis are hard to find, public transportation is a joke and drunk driving is common. Dating someone who lives 10 miles away means driving at least forty minutes, add in traffic, it could take more than an hour.

Finding a guy in LA who likes you just the way you are is like going to Cabo to ski. It’s fucking impossible!!! There are exceptions, but they seem to always have more baggage than any metrosexual hipster struggling actor who doesn’t realize he is not famous.

The exceptions:

1.) Divorced with kids – They will commit, but they have major baggage. Kids, an ex-wife, they usually live in the suburbs to be closer to their kid(s). Most of their free time if not all revolves around the kid(s). How well does he get along with the ex? Why did they break up?

2.) Never married, no kids, 35 or older (for some reason they usually live in Santa Monica and in the same apartment since college) – They are very nice and polite, usually a bit boring, but they have major commitment issues. Their longest relationship is usually less than 2 years or more than 4 years. Run away immediately! Don’t believe the line “I just haven’t met the one.” He probably did meet her, they are still friends, he still loves her and he regrets not proposing to her because he hasn’t met someone like her since (including you).

3.)Paper Perfect – He’s not bad looking, great chemistry, is financially stable, has a house, no kids, but you aren’t attracted to him and just want to be friends. He’s totally into you and therefore you can’t be friends. 

If he seems to good to be true, he will break your heart.

Trust your first impression.

If you go dutch before monogamy, he’s either poor, cheap or an asshole. Sometimes all three.

I have a better chance of winning the lottery than finding a good man.

Wish me luck.