Monday, June 7, 2010

Mixed Nuts

Okay so now that the security has been breached on this blog, I might as well stop trying to deny I have a secret online life. McDreamy already knows I have a blog, but I haven't told him where to find it. Although, I'm sure it's pretty easy to find in a Google search or on facebook, but then what happens if happily even after dies. Do I have to start another blog? Make up an alias name? All these new issues to think about in an era with so much personal information available at the click of a button and everyone overexposing themselves on social networks.
My close friends and family and Kate's ex John are well aware of the blog. Although John is anti technology, with the exception of the iPod, so he doesn't read it all that much. After the whole JSR freak out last week I started to wonder what Andy would say if he read my entries. Would his wife go on an anti SP campaign? Because of course to her he is prince charming. I, however have very different feelings towards him. But, then again one person's treasure is another's lying, cheating, cowardly, asshole, douche bag, piece of coal, ex-boyfriend. After Mrs. JSR's comment to Kate that she was too picky and organized I had a thought. Maybe I was too intelligent and responsible for him and being in a relationship with me was to hard for someone as stupid as him. Of course, then this would mean that I enjoy the company of immature, unintelligent men who can't spell. Opposites attract right, but how long before the magnet falls for someone closer to their level?
My mother ran into Andy, his wife and the new baby last week. More like they were trying very hard to avoid her, but you got to love my mom for being stubborn and pushing the limit. She lives for confrontation, something about being a lawyer; she loves to make people uncomfortable. So, there in front of the mixed nuts (yes, really. How's that for poetic), my mother met the new "perfect" family and so the conversation went something like this:

"How have you been Andy?"
"Same old. Can't complain. Have you meet Liz?"
" It's so nice to finally meet you. Congrats on the baby. She is precise. What's her name?"
"How's Summer? I haven't seen her around lately." (No shit asshole. Sorry.)
"She's doing great. She lives in New York now."
"Really. That's awesome. I've been meaning to call her and apologize, but. Well tell her I say hi. We should probably be going. It was nice to see you."

Why do particular people leave a lasting impression with us? What is it about them that get under our skin to the point we question everything they do and we say? Even now Andy is still a presence in my life even though he isn't physically with me anymore. I sometimes wonder who I was then, why I thought the relationship was so great and why it hit me like a ton of bricks when it fell apart. I am thankful that it happened, although I would have preferred a less dramatic and bitter ending. But, maybe time really does heal wounds and after the love/hate relationship fades maybe there is a new place in your life for the ex. It will never be the same, nor do I want what we once were back. But, it's a nice thought to think that maybe one day down the line Andy and I will be friends again.

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