Sunday, June 6, 2010

Ghost Whisperer

It is in the early morning hours and long after the sunsets that my inner thoughts spin. I've had a number of very vivid dreams recently. Last night was no different and so real that I woke up truly believing that I had just seen a long lost friend. But, then I realized it was so far from the present. There was no happy ending.
Dreams and the subconscious have always interested me. Shortly after my grandparents died I had a dream that I was visiting them and I was able to say goodbye. Some people say that when you dream about a person who has died that they have finally gotten to their resting place and have made peace with their past. So, I wonder about the relatives and friends whom have I have never dreamt about. Was I not on the priority list or do they have unfinished business?
I don't necessarily believe in heaven or hell, but I do believe there is an afterlife of sorts and that our spirits never die. Our physical bodies are merely a vessel for our soul. While the physical appearance is what you mentally remember about a person, there personality is what stands out. Even though you can't touch them or see them anymore there are often times when I can feel the presence of particular lost relatives and friends.
I believe that people who have passed watch over the living. Not necessarily protecting them, but guiding them in life choices. Which isn't always a good thing, but then again it depends on how responsible they were alive.
There will always be moments that I wish I could do over. That had I really understood the concept of death maybe I would have spent more time with certain people.
I don't think anyone really is prepared to deal with death. How we act prior to and after a person dies perhaps to the outside world is normal, but for myself I try really hard to block out the sadness and make myself think that picking out a casket, and shopping for a funeral parlor and flowers are normal daily activities. The aftermath of death never really hits me. I am aware that no one will answer the phone anymore and that there won't be lemon drops in the glove compartment unless I buy them. It's the little things that you take for granted that suddenly become so significant.

"People do not die for us immediately, but remain bathed in a sort of aura of life which bears no relation to true immortality but through which they continue to occupy our thoughts in the same way as when they were alive. It is as though they were traveling abroad." ~Marcel Proust

Sublime Happiness of a Guarded Heart

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