Monday, June 14, 2010

Back Track to the Ball Drop

What a brilliant idea, hosting a little get together of fabulous friends and new acquaintances. If I'm coming back, I'm coming back with a bang. But, I still think I should stock up on pepper spray and super freaking high heels as protection just in case I run into JSR and company.
I can't remember the last time I hosted a party. More important than what are we eating and drinking, what am I wearing? Would it be too cheesy if I bought balloons? (I'll restraint myself)
I'm actually really excited to return to my second home. It's been a roller coaster winter and spring and when I look back to how this year began I can't believe how far I have come and how much I have grown and learned. It's unfortunate that I now guard my thoughts and emotions like national security and I will never be able to fully trust anyone ever again. These are permanent wounds inflicted by JSR. But, I'm glad I'm not as vulnerable a person anymore, yet also just as terrified because I have nothing to lose now.
I can't believe how quickly the last six months have gone by. I rang in the New Year in New York City with an old friend. We found ourselves at a friend of a friend's apartment in the east village that was decked out in an Andy Warhol theme. The walls were covered in tin foil and there were fifty people jammed into a studio with a DJ. But, the drinks were free and the punch bowl was endless. After the ball dropped, we went back to her apartment, drank some more vodka and talked until the early morning hours.
She is a lawyer for a fancy firm, comes from old money, but hates to shop. Go figure. We were talking about men of course and I was shocked to learn that she was having an affair with her boss, who is married with three kids. The week before he had told her that he was going to tell the wife everything and get a divorce. But, my friend, let's call her Beth, wasn't sure she was ready for the shit storm or for that matter possibly becoming the stepmother to three teenagers. I, of course was going on and on about the evil wrath I now lovely call JSR. Why is it that whenever alcohol is involved, conversations always turn to love, the good, the bad and the ugly? To leave behind a cursed decade requires a large amount of alcohol and great friends. We haven't spoken recently and I'm curious as to what happened. Guess I will find out in a couple weeks.
Back then I was still in shock and attempting to maintain an emotional shield from the pain. I’ve told the story to basically everyone I know and every time I get the same puzzled look. I even asked my parents for advice (which I never ever do) and again the same perplexed reaction. It took me another month before I started to see a therapist, in hope she would unlock the magic answer to the bitter and odd ending. Over time her conclusion was what I had assumed from the start, but she did enlighten me to some odd and disturbing personality traits of JSR and company. In the end, she and everyone else I had originally told the story to be even more perplexed and confused.
I'm going to detour off topic for a moment, because this has been bugging me for a few days now, since I finally sat down and read the comments that had been made by JSR and company a couple weeks ago. I feel the need to put this lovely legal fact out in the open should JSR and company decide to join the conversation again. Before you go making half ass threats about protecting peoples privacy you should know your literary and legal rights (which unfortunately aren't much). If I was so inclined I could go as far as saying JSR's real name, his place of employment and home address. All thanks to this clever little phrase, "Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons living or dead, is entirely coincidental." Furthermore, stating something generic as JSR lives in the state of Florida and his initials are MF is harmless and meaningless. There are loads more men in the state of Florida with the same initials. However, I would bet there are only a handful of people in the country named Charity. Lucky for you, I don't want to be linked to the real JSR. At least not on this blog, but in paperback that's a different story.

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