Saturday, May 22, 2010

Online Dating

Yet another weekend upon me, the thoughts of "what am I going to do this weekend", "should I even waste my time on another date”,” why isn't this easier”,” what am I doing wrong”,” If only she would give me a chance,” I am not giving in to this superficial world”, and so many more. As stated earlier, I was in a long relationship that turned out to be a 5yr. one night stand. Many ask, "What do you mean?" Well, it went like this: I frequented a local watering hole, I admired her from a far, I knew she wanted me...She always ran to me as soon as I entered, giving me a kiss on the cheek, asking how my week was and ALWAYS had my drink ready before I had even asked. Did I like this affection? I sure did! But I knew as soon as I gave in, she could be mine. I played hard to get for almost a year, telling her my about the dates I went on. Most of the time I even went there after the dates were done just to unwind from the nightmares I endured. After months she finally broke down and said, "Can we just do (It) one time? I just have to know". No small talk, any expensive dinners, not even a night on the town, just plain lust. Well there began my one nightstand that lasted almost 5yrs.
And with the end of that dysfunctional relationship, I began my ride on the online dating highway. I first started on a site that had games (somewhat flirty ones) We would post a sexy pic and get "bought" to earn money and the attention of others, lets just say, I felt overwhelmed by the attention I received. I was on top of the world, getting bought thousands of times a day, lustful messages telling me what they wanted to do to me. WoooHOoooo!!! But I soon realized many of those photo's were not really them, and yet others were them but photo shopped or just years before. I then signed up for other sites, talked to many women who somewhat seemed normal, but also loved the attention/lustful messages they received. After many months talking to "Alabama Slammer" lol <--made it up, we thought "we are not getting any younger, we've talked for months, our minds have made their conclusions, and both of us have never met anyone online in person before”. So we did it, made plans to meet in Panama City. She lived in Alabama, I lived in Miami. I know, what am I thinking?? But I was excited; meeting someone I had only exchanged emails & photos with. Well, that's me, the adrenaline junky at times. I rented a jeep, packed my bags, and was on my way.
I didn't mind the drive and the excitement was overwhelming. I pulled in around 9pm, we were both nervous, but here goes. I went in the hotel, walked upstairs knocked on the door and WOW!!! Amazing! Standing in front of me: sundress, flip flops (perfectly manicured toes/nails) body had been kissed by the sun, most amazing green eyes known to man, and the cutest accent I’ve ever heard.” howdy" she says, com'on in. We talked and admired each other for a while and decided to grab some drinks. We had both never been there before and had no idea where to go. She spotted a hole in the wall for a bar and asked, "Do you mind a dive bar?" WOW! I was even more amazed, she didn't want the fancy one's we passed, and this was a cool girl. We proceeded to have drinks and watch the locals make fools of them selves singing karaoke. We shared a few kisses and headed back to the room. Lets just say, we had an Amazing week together. As we were leaving we said our good byes as if it we had it planned to never see each other again. One passionate week filled with excitement that we could both brag about to our friends. We spoke less and less as time passed, but neither one of us will ever forget Panama City.
I later found out she was separated and now back with her husband. She wanted exactly what I had wanted, to feel that flame of passion we all love, that initial meeting, that first kiss, to feel wanted, to be respected, and all was done without the burdens of all the questions of my past.
The Man

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