Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Circus Dating

So now that I'm officially quote, unquote over Andy, I've forced myself to reenter the dating scene. If my recent dates are any character as to what to expect then I'm screwed. Given the handful of men I've been matched up with via mutual friends and co-workers in the last couple weeks I'm starting to understand why these men are still single and why I will continue to a singleton. I've tried a different flavor each day for the last week and I'm zero for five.
I'm regretting being polite to my married friends who feel the need to set me up on a blind date and then actually believe them when they say, "he's a real catch." I wish every guy came with a scorecard and references prior to meeting. This way I could throw out the controlling ones who comment on the fact that I'm not a cheap date. Hey man, if you are going to "splurge" and order the Kobe beef I don't think it's that’s big a deal if I get a piece of fish. But, if you are really tight on your money I'll pay for my meal and maybe next time you shouldn't offer to take a woman out on a date somewhere you can't afford and instead go to McDonald's.
Friday, there was Bob and I should have known from the name that he was boring. Sorry to all the other Bobs out there, but there are certain names that I stereotypically assume are characteristic of uninteresting, no frills men. For example; Bob, Frank, Tom, Bruce just to name a few. Then there are those names that I swear are cursed. Andy is at the top of this wish, as well as Michael, Dylan, Marc and Eric. What's in a name really? It's unfortunate that any man I befriend in the future with a bad name is tainted before they even speak. If only I had a cheat sheet in the beginning then I wouldn't have gotten my feelings hurt.
Bob was a friend of a friend. He works at a bank, doing something with money. I zoned out after the first ten minutes. He invested in a flashy sports car, a big bird yellow Porsche Boxster, which was the second tip off. It was too late to back out by then so I made the most of the free meal and cocktails. I will give him points for picking a good restaurant. It was about the only highlight of the night. But, alas after a three-hour dinner I was ready to move on to the next flavor.
Saturday, there was Scott, gorgeous, gorgeous man. But, unfortunately he is well aware of his GQ assets and makes sure you are too. Big spender, the unofficial mayor of sobe it would appear. Being that every place we went someone knew him. He is a co-worker of my married girlfriend's husband. To bad the minute he opens his mouth, not a single intelligent word comes out. Which being a lawyer and all seems ironic. Crash and burn number two.
Sunday, brunch in the grove with Jeffrey. Super funny and attractive guy, but if a man is more interested in where you got your shoes then your girls (boobs) he is probably rooting for the other team. Which it turns out he is. It will be our little secret and anyone who is reading this. lol the upside of this is that I now have a fabulous new shopping buddy. Yea!
Monday, drinks after work with Dave, which then turned into dinner, more drinks and a pounding headache the next morning. I must remember I am not twenty-one anymore, but something it's fun to think I am for a night. Dave is one of those rare finds if what he said was true (which it probably isn't). But, the thing is the good guys bore me easily. I prefer someone who is impulsive and adventurous. I should want a man who is dependable and stable and invests his money wisely, but I'm a sucker for the unattainable, the mystery, the bad boy, even thou history proves it never works out well in the end.
Which brings me to tonight's date from hell. Once again I had a bad feeling from the start when he drove up in a Hummer. Really, isn't that a bit much for South Florida? Is there a natural disaster or ten feet of snow coming that I'm unaware of? He gets out of the car all impressed with himself, like I am so lucky to have the privilege of spending a couple hours with him. Sorry to disappoint, but flashy cars and expensive bottles of wine don't guarantee you anything.
I'm taking the rest of the week off from blind dates and resuming the circus dating on Monday.
Happy hunting!

1 comment:

  1. That's the scary part about having to date; to think that there are all these crazy men out there, that to find the right one is going to take you having to go through all these other rejects. And then when you do find the person you like you have to spend years modling them into what you want them to be. Ugh so annoying!!!!


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