Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Mr. Right Not

"History, despite it's wrenching pain can't be unlived. But, if faced with courage, need not be lived again." - Maya Angelou
Making peace with my history is a journey in itself. The past still haunts me. A broken record on repeat in my mind. No great words of wisdom or advice can repair the damage any quicker. It takes guts and courage to walk away from a relationship you feel isn't worth repairing. At the same time it's also incredibly cowardly to leave questions unanswered. I so desperately want to evict the ghost from my mind, but his words and presence are still with me everyday.
Getting back into the dating scene isn't nearly as easy I thought it would be. When I was in my twenties, bars were the social hookup spots. But, in my thirties, bars just don't feel appropriate places to meet a long-term partner. I've been thinking recently about the whole search for "Mr. Right" or even just Mr. Right Now and I'm starting to ask myself why do I feel I must find someone of the opposite sex to spend my free time with? Why do I feel pressured into coupling up? I'm well aware of the fact that I'm not getting any younger and if I want to have a biological child I must get serious, but all of it feels wrong. It's never been who I am or who I want to be and I'm okay with this fact. Maybe, there is no prince charming or right time, but maybe I'm already the lucky one. Great friends and a fresh start in a familiar city may turn out to be a better investment in my future than any man ever will be.

1 comment:

  1. I am 30 myself and I agree SP, dating does not get any easier and I am over the whole bar hookup scene. I have been dating for a while since my heart was broken and the same results. I have dated within and out of my comfort zone and also found myself counting down the moments till I get home.
    I have read all of your posts and I know exactly how you feel. In fact, I feel like I am reading my own thoughts. You have helped me more than you know and I would like to thank you. You are definitely the lucky one but your those closest to you are even luckier to have you in their lives.


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