Sunday, October 31, 2010

Trick or Treat?

Some things I've learned this week: Men have feelings too, (yes, really) don't shut doors without explaining why, the past will never be forgotten, but that doesn't mean it should hinder the future. Most importantly, there are a few good single men in the world and one day if you are lucky enough you will find that what you love will take you places you never dreamed you'd go.
So the minor freak out has been resolved. I feel like a fool and a bit of a spoiled brat for creating a major fight over a little thing. Even though I knew I was repeating the bad habit of throwing away the good seeds without evidence of fault in the moment I was more afraid that I would be the one served with the pink slip so I found fault in a delayed response.
I'm glad it was pointed out to me and hopefully the pattern is now broken. While not one of my finest moment I did get the answer I had been secretly wishing he would say. Afterwards and actually still now I can't really believe it's true or why he wants me.
There must be something wrong with this guy that he has fallen in love with me after only a few dates. Is he a serial killer, a polygamist or did I really hit the jackpot and find a rare gem? Normally I would be freaked out if a guy were so open with his feelings and willing to step out of his comfort zone for a better life together.
Unfortunately not everyone can just drop everything and fly away to paradise. There is something very different about McDreamy that at first I really didn't think we would last more than a fling. Sure the conversations were effortless, I felt comfortable and safe with him but he is so different from my past relationships that I questioned whether I was just experimenting and tasting a new flavor or following my heart. Yet, very quickly all my fears and second-guessing were forgotten and I found myself longing to hear his voice and see him again.
I didn't use to subscribe to the idea of love at first sight. But, there was something about McDreamy that even when we first locked eyes I got goose bumps. I know of a few couples that got married less than six months after first meeting and are still together ten plus years later. The little voice in me wants me to believe he is "the one" and I'm starting to seriously think there is truth to this theory. Some people marry and settle down because that's what they think should happen and when picking the ideal mate tend to compromise and let go of the person they were before I do. Perhaps that is why so many marriages either end because of a lover’s triangle or because the couple grows apart. I know I did and I regret not having the guts back then to be honest with myself and realize that although I did love Andy, I wasn't in love with him. When I consider what life with McDreamy would be like I can't wait for it to begin. We share the same goals, interests, desires and wants. What more could I ask for? A ring would be nice. Still waiting on the Tiffany's box.
Given all the odds against us in my heart it still feels so bizarrely right. It's far from a fairytale and the dream certainly won't happen overnight, but for the time being I will continue to keep my mind open to the possibility that I finally got my treat.
I said yes by the way.
The official countdown to gobble day has begun.
Have a fabulous Halloween everyone!

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