Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Why Is It That I Want The Unattainable?

Another great weekend passes and a few more dates. Friday was somewhat unexpected...I figured it would be a slow night just relaxing at home but by 5 pm my phone was going crazy. I am guessing the holidays bring out the loneliness in people. I went on a couple great dates this month and even debated getting a little more serious with one of them. She was the one who mentioned "no attachments" from the start, and liked going out from time to time. She stated that she only wanted to "hang out" and enjoy some adult company here and there. It sounded perfect to me. Although I am thinking this may be the reason she interests me so much. I do crave the chase a little and enjoy winning any challenge put in front of me, but will I loose interest if she is willing to give more? I’m not sure...I often find myself looking for imperfections when a relationship could be obtained. Call me crazy, or maybe picky, but I look at everything from the moment I first meet someone. I add the minutes to return calls (it shows interest), the return texts, I listen to the voice, check out clothing, jewelry, watches, hair, nails, and so much more. I can read some people very well, even if they are dressed very casual. All of these things factor into my final decision-making process. At times I curse myself being so picky, but I know if I am bothered early, in the long run things won’t work. Everyone has something they dislike about their partner, but with time these things either lessen or there are so many other things that make up for those little unimportant issues. I don't know about you but I just know as soon as I meet someone new, whether it is relationship material or not. Enough about that, let's go back to Friday night. I hadn't made plans prior so my weekend was open. I get a text from my weekly masseuse. "You busy?" hmmm, this was somewhat strange to me. I had already been there earlier in the week and wasn't set to return until next week. "No, I am not busy, what's up?" (I have been asking her out from the day I met her). She always said, "Thanks for the offer but I don’t date clients". She then asked If I could do a huge favor, she was hungry and wondered if I was close. I was actually 5 minutes away from the establishment so I thought this could be my "in". Sure I said I would pick something up for you. When I brought the food, she asked if I had plans for the night. I replied "no". She then asked if I would like to go to a party with her...Hell yea!! This was my opportunity to finally talk outside of work. We met, dropped of her car, and headed out. She didn't stop smiling the minute we left. I was the same, and still smile as I think of her. We had a wonderful night, shared a few kisses and she initiated 75% of it. I do enjoy it when a woman makes a first move, and especially in this case. I had thought I was just company and going as "friends" but when she put my hand on her knee, I was very happy. I am a gentleman and I do make a move when it feels right, but I had mixed signals from day one, so I totally respected her decisions. The night ended and I went home thinking of what might be our next date. On the way home I sent "thanks for the wonderful evening, I really enjoyed your company". I usually do this when I am really into someone. Then the games begin...
The following day she called and told me she had a great time as well. But now things get confusing. I knew she had plans for the following day so I called and left a message hoping she enjoys her day. No return text or call that day. Weird?? But I know all about these games so I didn't think too much into it. Until we texted back and forth and every time I bring up "When can I see you again?" I get a no response. So this is somewhat confusing!
On to the next evening...I set up another date (a meet & greet) to see if there is a connection with someone I met online. We met and I noticed closed off body language, checking the phone, and looking at her watch. Right there I knew her interest level was low, or so I thought. We had a few drinks, had some forced conversation, and were on our ways. The next morning she apologized for checking her phone and explained that her ex was sitting a few tables away. I totally understood and we may go out again.
Sunday: Yet another "meet & greet". I decided on a daytime meet. I knew she was interested in boats, so I got tickets for the boat show. We met there and right from the start had excellent conversation. She was very down to earth and no forced conversation needed. I had a great time and think we will plan a date for next weekend.
With all three dates I am still interested in the hard to get...The one's who challenge me, the one's I can't read, the one's who leave me craving more. Why is it that I want the unattainable? Is it natural? We all say we are "tired of the games”, but the reality is the games sometimes keep us wanting more. This damn-dating world has changed so much and become difficult to find quality or genuine people. I would drop everything to find the one who is right for me...but until then, the journey continues.
The Man

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