Friday, October 1, 2010

The Breakup

I'm afraid to love, to fall in love so fast. Every time I open my heart it never seems to last.
What is wrong with me? Why do I push away people who care about me? Am I so afraid of getting hurt again that I can never fully trust anyone?
In a moment of both insecurity and loneliness I pulled the trigger on my relationship with McDreamy. Just days after I changed my fb status to "in a relationship" (which is super cheesy anyhow and I totally should have known better)I had pushed the man who helped bring me back to life off the cliff. I thought he would say something like "It's okay. I understand your fears and concerns and I accept you just the way you are." Just like Marc Darcy did to Bridget Jones, but I was wrong. What I had said couldn't be deleted and now twenty four hours later no call, no email, no text, nothing from him. I realize now I fucked up big time. But, then again if he can't deal with me on bad days then it never could have worked out.
But as my father says, "Never say never."

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