Monday, October 4, 2010

Love Bites

"Love bites, love bleeds
It's bringin' me to my knees
Love lives, love dies
It's no surprise
Love begs, love pleads
It's what I need."
- Def Leppard

History it would seem is repeating itself and this is my fault. I jump to conclusions without thinking because I base it on the past and the closer I let someone get the more vulnerable I am to being betrayed and rejected. So at the moment I feel a real spark I immediately discard of the man instead so I can't get hurt but then I realize maybe all men aren't created equal. Every one of them can't be a JSR can they?
It's to late now to salvage the blissful and blossoming romance with McDreamy. After my last post a couple days ago we finally had a real talk. Surprisingly he wasn't mad at me, even went on to say that it didn't matter how much I bashed him. How he felt about me wouldn't change.
I learned my lesson about dating someone who is thousands of miles away and while I very much want to continue our relationship and see what happens I had become the type of woman I've spent years mocking.
I am not typically a needy, insecure or jealous person but it would seem that the distance has made me incredibly possessive and for no reason.
He hadn't done anything or said anything wrong, but I had created drama out of nothing and as a result am mortified. We broke up over the phone though it wasn't nearly as emotionless as I had been hoping for. "I don't think I can do this anymore. It's too fast too soon. I thought I had moved on from Andy and all the baggage that came with him, but clearly I haven't.," and with that I am once again a singleton.

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