Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Lost and Found

A slow start to the blog this month and with the holidays fast approaching the blogs may soon be few and far between. So brace yourselves and savor every word we do write. :)
Work is crazy busy which of course is a fabulous thing, but after a fourteen hour day my eyes become very sleepy once I sit down. I will try harder to sneak away for a few in the middle of the day to write a blog.
As well we have been busy putting together a boutique line of super adorable and stylish apparel. Just one more way to share the story of M with the world. I wanted to be evil in my secret (well it's a secret anymore) plan of sweet revenge, but the business woman in me thought up an even more genius form of payback. Watch out MF, it ain't over yet. MF of course stands for Miami, Florida. It most certainly is not the initials of a particular person who also happens to be the mascot of all the JSR's in the world. Although it sure is convenient that the letters have multiple meanings. Another fabulous one is Mother Fucker. Pretty amazing huh? Anyhow, all I can say is karma rocks and unless Mr. & Mrs. JSR moved to another state or country this my friends is the calm before the next storm. Only this time I won't be the one left asking why?
As 2010 comes to an end I find myself reflecting upon what was definitely a year filled with more trauma and drama than happily ever after days. Yet, I'm so glad I experienced all this pain and heartache now and was able to walk away a stronger, wiser and possibly richer person. (Thanks so much for the motivation M. We will meet again. The city sure is small when you run in the same circles.) Since I'm getting into the holiday spirit and being the generous and sweet person that I am, I think it would be a brillant idea to send M and company a care package of all things Love Bites. Can't forget the bag of coal.
One year ago I lost myself in the search for the answer to why. No answer will ever change the truth now. The lack of an answer on day one and everyday thereafter was the ultimate answer. It said everything I suspected over the years, everything I didn't want to believe and everything I already knew but didn't want to admit to myself.
The erasing was the easy part. Don't continue to chase something that was never for sale. Do follow your heart and you might be pleasantly surprised. Don't obsess over what could have been or continue to wonder why events unfolded as they did. As the days go by you will understand that none of this helps or matters in the end. The weak let go of the pain. They pretend events didn't occur, that friends didn't avoid answer questions because they were difficult or uncomfortable to answer. Success for the most part comes as a result of a painful event. That is what I believe and when I think about MF it's once again because I love home. There is a split second when I remember the real MF and the life once lived. But I laugh now because I'm not that person anymore. Maybe I never was. Maybe this was always meant to be the ending to the story of M.
M will live on forever now. I doubt that was the idea behind not answering a simple question. But, like I've always said this story never was meant to go public. But, what choice did I have? Walk away and let the jackass win? Hell no! Clearly M never knew me or maybe he just can't read. Everyone knows I don't let sewer rats run away. I nail them to the wall.
Have a fabulous night y'all!
With Love,

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