Thursday, November 18, 2010

First Wives Club

Some might say I'm a drama queen at times. That I crave attention or that I'm a magnet for nuts and I get sucked into the circus. Then again maybe I do best when surrounded by cans of worms.
The other day the email that was the source of pain and confusion all those months ago popped up in a saved file on my email account. I thought I had deleted it, but there it was. Just as cold and bizarre as the first day I read it. I didn't need to open the email to remember the words. They are still engraved in my memory. What stood out now and still made me ask why were the same key words. "I'm sorry, it's not your fault, and this isn't easy." I get it now as best I ever will. I could continue to replay every conversation or encounter with M and I still wouldn't have the right answer. I believe what I want to from that note and the silence.
M is the topic of conversation a lot these days. Not for the reasons you all are thinking, but because of one cowardly, douche bag, jackass I have found my voice. So what if I never get the truth about that day or the year’s prior. This right here is the answer to it all.
Sonoma gal is back in action again, dishing out words of wisdom and motivating me to keep kicking some ass. We lost touch a little while back when life as she knew it landed head first into a pile of shit. She cleans up mighty well and hasn't lost her edge. Welcome back to the first wives club honey. You have been missed. So of course being the self centered bitch I am the first question I asked her was "Are you reading the blog again? Now that love doesn't bite."

"YES! I just caught up on the blog - WOW! The fans are the key indicator that you are doing something right! How funny, you started writing because of MF but through it you have helped other people find their voice, given advice by way of trial and error and in the end have found a mate that may be able to care for you more from three thousand miles away than the guy next door could ever care for you:) Take that shit, MF."
- Sonoma Gal

If you are still reading this M, I truly hope you're well. Life goes on and the evolution continues. Thanks for being the starter wood. Dry, heavy and bitter with a lifetime burn.
Happy holidays!!

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