Thursday, November 4, 2010

Karma Is a Bitch

Every so often while having an idle moment I stop and wonder “How did I get here?”. Things seem surreal. Here I am sitting at my desk, looking out the window over the Broadwater. It’s a miserable day but it hasn’t stopped the jet-boats, sailing boats and jet-skis. They are all out there having a whale of a time. Come 5 o’clock I will jump in my car and drive down the highway for an hour to my new home with two awesome flat mates.
Just over a year ago I was making a promise to the man who I loved that I would spend the rest of my life with him and he promised the same to me. That man does not exist anymore. In his place stands a JSR. Someone who cannot call himself a man at all. I spend little time thinking about him these days. Today two of the three significant songs from our wedding were played on the radio this morning so it brought back memories. I have not heard either of these songs since I moved up here so it’s interesting that they were both played about an hour apart. But I will not dwell too much on it. I have new, better and exciting things to focus my energy on. Yes it is the past that makes a person into who they are today, but it is exactly that. The Past. It cannot be changed, therefore it is a waste to use too much energy dwelling on it. Learn the lesson, use it to your advantage and move forward. Sure it’s easier said than done. I remember the pain that I went through. Feeling like my world had ended. Wanting to curl up in a ball in the corner and let the world pass me by. I didn’t allow myself to do it. But I wished I could. Fortunately for me I am a stubborn Taurean (I can see a couple of people who know me reading this nodding their heads. Hi guys J). I would not allow my life to end because of someone else’s cowardly and childish wrongdoings. I look at my life now and I don’t think there is a single aspect that has not improved since I left that house. I may not have many possessions, but I look at the fact that I can start new and fresh without any memories attached to them. JSR cannot say the same. He gets to keep all of those memories to remind him of what he did and the pain that he caused his wife. Karma is a bitch.
I will be adding a photo for the FB page soon. I have just been deliberating as to whether it should conceal my identity or not. I feel there is little chance of JSR coming across the blog, but am wary of it coming back and biting me on the arse. On the other hand I have a right to voice my thoughts and feelings and I haven’t been disrespecting my ex on facebook in front of many mutual friends like he has. Maybe I have already made up my mind.
I hope everyone enjoys their weekend. I have an awesome wedding to go to.
Aussie Gal

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