Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Spiked Lemonade

"Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old."-
Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm a bit overwhelmed with the staggering increase in Love Bites fans. 9,000 last time I checked and the first thing I thought was I wish I could see the expression on M and company's faces right now. In the end that's what this is all about, getting even and then some with the people who fucked with my life. Here's to fucking up your emotionally stable existence. This truly is the most genius way to get over a douche bag, jackass, cowardly, sewer rat.
What's the cute little line, "When life gives you lemons make lemonade," well I think we've taken that clever phrase up a few notches and made ourselves some fabulously delicious cocktails with a bottle or two of splendid vodka and we will be lovingly sharing our riches with the loyal Love Bites groupies. You guys rock!
All I've been doing on this blog is confessing my inner thoughts about past mistakes and relationships. What more can I say without really pissing off people? Like should I reveal the secret fetishes and after dark hangouts of a certain Mr.JSR (aka M)? We could play hangman and spell out M's real name, family photo albums, (flickr, MySpace & facebook. Just remember if wanted your life and the lives of your friends and family to remain private you never should have joined any of these networks.) Email address and phone number (these are public after all you just need to know what you are looking for). But, then I would be stooping down to their childish level and I'm wiser than that. There are far more rewarding avenues for one to continue seeking sweet, sweet revenge.
Thought I said too much already about myself, but I suppose one can never say too much. So who am I? I'm twenty-eight, self employed, currently living outside of Boston, my longest relationship lasted eight years, I'm not a girly girl, I don't follow tradition, I don't believe in prince charming and the idea of growing old with one person sounds more like a prison sentence than a dream come true. I'm a sarcastic bitch and proud to be a fun girl.
I was born in New York City, the only child of two lawyers, we lived in Park Slope until I was six at least point we moved to an affluent Westchester suburb for the best of the best public school education. Although the education system was lost on me, I never wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer or a 9-5-worker bee. I wasn't a cheerleader or an honors student, but I wasn't a troubled child either. I kept to myself and observed those around me, I wasn't there to make friends, I was just waiting for the day I could get as far away from desperate housewives small town corruption and begin living.
I wasn't interested in boys until I got to college. Even then I was mighty picky and to some people a bit intimidating, not only by my clothing, but my body language. I had perfected the poker face at an early age, which for some men who fear rejection was a turnoff. Those that did approach and attempt to strike up a conversation were given about a minute to impress me or were quickly dismissed with a cold shoulder.
There were a handful of male "friends," over the years, but it takes a lot for me to commit myself to just one. My first real boyfriend would later become my first husband. Which we all know was not a happily ever after union. "The one" that's a whole chapter in itself.
As for now, I'm going to enjoy my spiked lemonade and call it a night.

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