Monday, August 16, 2010

Prelude To a Nightmare

"Forget what they said
You will love me the same way
Let's break the cycle

What you thought I despised sent me frantically spinning into the sky
Like we're facing off with our nightmares
The hero will never die

Never going the same way
Can't collide with what doesn't need a heartbeat
And I will make you believe that this look was mistook
With what doesn't need...
All together we scream

I thought this was all a part of the plan
In the end we walk out
Walk with me
Talk with me
I'll take you away from this place
As legends go we are at the end
Here's a column of my own so let's begin
Walk with me
Talk with me
This place we cannot erase

The city only breathes through you
And all the cracks that you've fallen through"

For some the daily routine is the joy; waking up the kids, chauffeuring them around town, daytime television, work, grocery shopping, making dinner, greeting the spouse, watching the nightly news, tucking the kids in. These are objectives and tasks we come to rely on as they have become expected and for some is a comfort and feeling of ease.
Some people work their whole lives at the same job, doing the same tasks, interacting with the same people and are proud that slaved decades for a corporation that quickly and effortlessly could replace them. Sure there were perks; paid vacations, health insurance, 410K, decent pay and a feeling of job security. But, the reality is everyone is just a number, some may make it higher up the food chain while others stay on the carousel.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with this lifestyle and some days I wish the mundane were the dream for me. I was denied enrollment in over a dozen private schools in New York City when I was entering high school. A short-lived attempt to return to the big apple, but thanks to my wiseass remarks and alternative gothic dress I wasn't an ideal match regardless of my grades. Without thought I would happily kick a guy in the nuts, curse a stranger out and provoke a fight just for fun. That same feisty girl lives on as an adult today.
I tried rather poorly to conform to the rules and regulations set in place by society and corporate America but I'm not cookie cutter. At times I've been called a daredevil and up until recently the unpaved road was intriguing. For the first time, the unknown frightens me. I had become accustomed to particular habits and smells and even though my tolerant level for minor imperfections was low I still found comfort in knowing these things would occur.
Originally just a handful of close friends knew about the blog and as the months have gone by the readership has grown to over ten thousand followers. Funny thing is when it was just people I knew reading my words I was more conservative and reserved with my thoughts and now without a thought I happily write intimate details about my past and present regardless of whose prying eyes are spying. Hi G, C, I and J. Yes really I'm going there. I make no apologies for my words. Especially not to people who are R_ _ _ _ _ _. (First game of hangman. Can you guess what the word is? If you live in NB you know exactly what I'm talking about.)

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