Saturday, August 14, 2010

It's My Party

"Nobody knows where my Andy has gone
Liz left at the same time
Why was he holding her hand?
When he's supposed to be mine

It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you

Playin' my records, keep dancin' all night
Leave me alone for a while
'Til Andy's dancin' with me
I've got no reason to smile

It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you

Liz and Andy just walked through the door
Like a queen with her king
Oh what a birthday surprise
Judy's wearin' his ring

It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you"

There's only so many times you can allow someone to let you down before you can't handle the disappointment anymore. When things change people change and it doesn't mean you forget the past, it simply means you try to move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesn't mean
giving up, it means accepting things that weren't meant to be. There's a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone, trying to fix everything, but it's not giving up. You must do what is right for you even if it hurts. I've come to realize that in the end, cause everyone turns out to be the person they swore they'd never become.
When we began this month we briefly talked about our backgrounds and what ultimately started the blog. I skipped over the once happy period in my life, when I first met Andy and much of the fond memories of my young adult years are with him, but it seems rather pointless to go talk about the exotic vacations, the tender words, the holidays spend visiting his family, the lavish gifts, since you already know the scandalous ending. I've gotten to the point where I have tried so hard for so long to mentally block any and all memories and images of Andy that in a way I fear it would not be healthy for me to relive a past that I can't change.
Thursday was my birthday and for most people it is typically an excuse to celebrate; eat cake, drink champagne, shop, and party and for the last thirty-four years that is exactly what I've done (well not the drinking). Of course, August 12 is no longer a just a reminder that I am one year older; it has become a sad day in my calendar. As my birthday now also marks the death of my marriage, which to some might be a new reason to celebrate. I told myself that I would not like this one bump in the road sabotage another birthday and so this year I decided to celebrate my fabulous new life, in a new city with my fantastic circle of old and new friends.
But, the best present of all was when I walked into the lobby of my apartment building and McDreamy (he is totally worthy of the name again) was waiting for me with a bouquet of stunning red roses, "Happy Birthday Babe!" I was floored; no man has ever done anything quite so grand for me. The celebration ended too soon, he left early the next morning, but just the fact that he went out of his way to visit me says so much and I can't wait to see him again. Andy who? You rock babe. XOXO

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