Sunday, August 29, 2010

Magic Eight Ball

"Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart." -
Marcus Aurelius

Fear consumes my thoughts at times, just like lips consume a cock. The first time was sublime, but life altered in the interim and the allure has faded. You learn as you go, was it the right move or had the view changed and the picture frame tilted?
I wasn't nervous this time around even though I had gambled everything. I didn't want to return to the box of depression and the Suzie homemaker life, but the world wind double life was coming to an end. It would be months until we met again that is we ever did. Time and distance had intensive our feelings, but once face-to-face it wasn't the same or maybe it was but never spoken. Were we already bored with one another or as we learned about the inner workings had the fantasy lost its charm?
Was it simply me or had I noticed a change in McDreamy too? Was it over before it ever had a chance or was it so real that I had to pinch myself and believe his loving words? I had opened up and a result left my vulnerable side out for a beating. Had I gambled my heart and once again lost to the house or was this the new chapter I had unknowingly been waiting for? Only time will tell where we go from here, but for now I will enjoy what little time we have together. Love, whether it strikes at sixteen or sixty always brings with it a rush that is hard to capture in words.

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