Monday, August 9, 2010

The Definition of M - High Risk Loser

Sex is always complicated, isn't it? I talk to women about sex and relationships, and the most common complaints I hear from women about men are:

"If you sleep with a man right away, he thinks you're too easy and doesn't call you again. If you turn him down, then he feels rejected and doesn't call. You can't win either way. “Once you have sex with a man he starts to lose interest because the challenge to seduce is over".
Now is a good time to dig deep, and ask yourself why you want to sexualize your relationship with this man. It's always good to take a moment to reflect and process your feelings before impulsively jumping into a sexual situation.
You can start out by trying to determine what kind of man you're dealing with. Analyzing a man’s “risk factor,” which will help you to reduce your chances of having a bad experience, could do this. Remember, I am breaking "man laws" by telling you these secrets, but I am trying to help you understand us as well.
Although you can never predict what a person's going to do, there are obvious red flags you must be mindful of. So, be alert and be honest with yourself when you are trying to determine a man's motives and/or character. It's good to think positively, but in this case a little skepticism and a touch of paranoia might be healthy in trying to protect you from getting hurt. Sometimes your instincts can tell you if a man is dangerous and a user. Don't be afraid to go by your gut feelings.
If a guy has a high risk factor, he will most likely demonstrate one or more of the following personality characteristics: He’s unreliable, he has lied to you at least once, he’s not punctual, he’s mysterious, he’s elusive, he calls inconsistently, he’s emotionally and/or physically unavailable, what he says doesn't always coincide with his actions, and his phone is most likely on silent while you are together...ask him something silly about his phone, just to see if it's off. (Sometimes a sign of a player) But also it could be out of respect.
If a guy has a low risk factor, he will most likely demonstrate one or more of the following personality characteristics: he's consistent, he calls often, he's available, he's punctual, he's trustworthy, his actions match what he tells you, and most of all...he never pushes the issue of sex! And most importantly, it only takes a minute a day, (no matter how busy) to send a "thinking of you" note/text/call.
Any man who truly cares about you're feelings will understand when the time is "right". But with this said, there is also a million ways to show you care but are just not ready for the "act" itself. The reality is that, no matter how wonderful things seem on the first or second date, this is not enough time to deeply care about someone. And sex without deep caring might be a physically satisfying experience, but it is flat emotionally and spiritually. It will almost always leave both people feeling like something was missing. Without love and caring, it is easy to move on to another person, another conquest. Only you will know when the time is right...Take your time, you really shouldn't be in any hurry. But it does feel REALLY, REALLY GOOD!!!
The Man

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