Friday, August 20, 2010

Dear Superfly Love Guru

Collectively all of the Love Bites gang has unexpectedly taken an end of the summer hiatus from writing. The leisurely August days and daily grind have been preoccupying our minds. If we were obsessed with the quantity of monthly posts rather than the quality our words would eventually lose meaning and get lost along the way. At some point I figured our writing bug would come to a halt. So, last night we posted a blurb on the Love Bites fan page asking our readers for topics to discuss. Almost instantly we received a bunch of compelling personal stories and questions about what to do in love.
Initially when I glanced down the lengthy list of comments a few stood out.

One reader asked: "Does love end just because you say good bye?"

True love never dies, however being in love with someone does not guarantee that they will remain a part of your life. Sometimes love isn't enough and other times the mutual love shared for one another is so strong that it's best to end happily then die a painful death.

Reader #2: "Falling for someone many miles away that you haven't even met and getting hurt by them too."

The Internet unknowingly sets us all up for failure. When we attempt to find love or the next best thing online we tend to let our guards down more often and expose more intimate personal thoughts about ourselves to strangers. Over time we begin to trust these people and cling to their words for encouragement or inspiration. From experience, in the case of romantic interests in cyber land it's all to easy to fall harder for a person we have never met because we believe we are the only one and that they seek a new life with us regardless of what plans may have been discussed. Another factor to be aware of is that some people create a firewall around their real life persona. Brad Paisley wrote a song called "Cooler Online" from which the lyrics are eerily similar to the way M was. I would later learn that he was merely playing out his fantasies of the life he wanted to have in his online chats and I was stupid enough to believe the lies. I will give him props for creating a fractured facade of the ambitious cocky bachelor. I was suckered in by the mysterious allure and a decade later was once again. In the end though I finally got to see M for the loser he always had been.

Reader #3: "What are your views on breaking up with someone and still remaining friends? Is that possible?"

It's a nice thought to think that once the romantic relationship is over two people can remain friends, but it's never that easy. First it depends how the breakup ended. Was it a mutual decision? Did someone cheat? Were you bitter or resentful? Would you be jealous if your ex started dated again? (Remember the awkward Big and Carrie attempt at friendship) If you truly are no longer in love with this person and still enjoy their company strictly as a friend then go for it, but if you have even a sliver of passion left for them run away before you ruin what is left.

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