Monday, August 23, 2010

It Is Better To Have Loved and Lost Than To...

Probably the one woman besides my mother that has influenced my position on love was Alyson. Although we were not together for eternity, it was certainly what I believe most people long for. She wasn't your typical lady. She was quiet and seemingly shy, but at the same time an adventurer and surfer. She was a foot shorter than I am and gorgeous. As labeled by others, we were an "interracial" couple, something that I had never really thought about when we were together. In a recent conversation, I brought up this idea of interracial relationships with her. Like me, she had sometimes seen some stares when we were together, but never gave them a second thought. One common thread was that we did not sweat the small stuff. She had a way of focusing all of her energies on us. Not that it was a chore our relationship, but we were always strapped for time. The little time we had, we would jet off to another city for a couple days just to have dinner. There was always something planned, even if it was just lying in bed on a Sunday morning reading the newspaper. One thing about us was that there was compromise and understanding. She thoroughly enjoyed surfing, so some of those weekends were spent jetting off to a beach so that she could spend the day surfing. Although I had boogie boarded in my youth, surfing was my thing. There was this sense of satisfaction to see her run out of the water, surfboard in hand, completely exhausted. Her first words were always, "Sorry, I know you must have been bored out of your mind". But I wasn't, it was a chance for me to catch up on some work, and know that she was having the time of her life battling those waves. Plus, racing RC cars was never her "thing" either, but she resisted the urge to call my hobby childish. We believed that life was short, so live it to the fullest, there was never a day that we could call boring. Our relationship ended because our careers took us in two opposite parts of the world, we were left with memories and lessons in life.
What were the things that made it work so well?
Adventure: Never forgetting the little things, never the same dull routine, treating each day like it was your last. There was no need to look outside our relationship; we were having too much fun rediscovering each other.
No insecurities: We knew where we stood, no one could get between us, and we were engrossed in each other.
It reinforced that it was important to live life, enjoy each other. As is with everything, whatever you put in you will get out. If you spend your time ignoring your other half, taking for granted that she will always be there, you will awake to a brutal reality. Don't even try to blame it on others, you are to blame. Can you honestly say that you have given it 110%? After you got the girl, did the chase stop? I am by no means perfect, but I know why my relationships ended, and all but one ended on good terms.
Believe me my long distance lover, we are here now and there is no looking back. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't. I was never a fan of fairy tales so I can't say how it will end. What I will tell you is that we will enjoy our time together, and we will forge many memories. The time is now, let's do this.
Devils Advocate

No comments:

Post a Comment

Think before you post a comment. With that in mind, we love comments, even the rude ones and remember whatever you write on here will live on forever.