Friday, August 6, 2010

Stupid Me

Does sex make it impossible for men and women to be true friends? Why did I let myself believe that he was different than the rest? I hate playing games I never win. If it was just a short-lived fling be honest. This isn't me, I'm not the type to obsess over a guy, yet these days I'm attached to the computer. Checking my emails a zillion times a day and still nothing. No word from McDreamy, (thinking of a new nickname. Definitely need to change it.) It’s been almost twenty-four hours. Which in the scheme of things doesn't necessarily mean anything, yet it feels large on the small screen. It was just a couple weeks ago that we were racking up the minutes talking and exchanging over a dozen emails a day. Now, not a peep.
It would be stupid for me not to think it's over. What was I thinking becoming so emotional attached to a person I barely know. I loved the attention, the compliments, and the witty one liners. I thought there was potential for something serious and he confirmed what I wanted to hear. But, now I feel like a fool, how stupid of me to believe anything a man says. It's all a funny game with zero consequences for them.
I'll admit I had fun. I enjoyed the chase, the not so PG late night conversations. For the first time I was happy about the future and had began to let my guard down. Was it too much too soon? Whatever happens or doesn't happen between us, I'm glad I stepped out of my comfort zone. I have learned from this experience and I'll be sure the next time to slow down the pace, not allow my current love interest to write on the blog, because one day they might be an ex, but their words will forever be carved on the walls. Can't wait to explain that to the next suitor.
Here's a thought, don't get pregnant, don't get married, don't get into debt and you'll be fine.
SP

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