Sunday, March 6, 2011

One Way Ticket

After the dust settles everything will be different. You will try and negotiate with yourself the many ways the new situation can work in a happy and healthy manner, but it's impossible. Conversations become fewer as the days go by and the love once so openly felt seems to have never existed at all. The more you contemplate the discussions and the people you surround yourself with you suddenly get the sinking feeling it was all a lie.
Erased from the reality and mocked at for having an opinion not in line with the majority. At the end of this closed gravel road there is a cliff with a drop into what appears to be the Grand Canyon. For a moment or two you seriously consider jumping over to quickly end the pain. There is also a slightly less permanent and painful option. A one way ticket out of the madness. There maybe happiness in the future and there may never be moments of joy again, but if you don't go now you will always be left wondering.
So you start to plot an exit plan. You auction off your once priced possessions. You box up the rest of your life and realize it fits quite comfortably into a storage unit. You walk away crossing your fingers and praying to a God you never believed in before that there will be a reward for all you have sacrificed.
Paradise is an illusion. True paradise can not be found with a plane ticket or a great love. The idea of paradise will keep you alive until the day it no longer exists.

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