Saturday, March 19, 2011

Are You Girlfriend Material?

I have recently had numerous discussions with a few women and they just don't get it. I am hoping this helps you get inside our heads a little more. Did you know that most men decide if a woman is "girlfriend material" within a few seconds of meeting her?

If you don’t know how to create the right first impression with a man, then you just might get thrown into the "just a friend" category before you can even talk to or connect with him. Everything that you do after a man gets that initial impression about you is run through the "she’s just a friend" filter… and this can make being in the "friend zone" almost inescapable. Learn the mistakes lots of women make in first and second impressions that land them in the "friend zone"

WHY A MAN RECOGNIZES ONE WOMAN AS "RELATIONSHIP MATERIAL" AND ANOTHER AS JUST A "FLING". Did you know that men have several specific terms and phrases that they use with each other to think of and describe women?
It’s a sort of "guy code" that men everywhere use with each other and their friends. One of my favorites that I often use is "cool girl". I'm sure most of you guys know exactly what I'm talking about, but let's face it, without me giving some of our secrets, they will never understand.
Here goes: when a man says, "Yea, I met this girl the other night and she was a really "cool girl". As simple as this sounds, the meaning that we use this term is because applies to a set of very specific qualities.Qualities that, although never actually discussed among men, are universally understood. We want the "cool girl," the one who is willing to try whatever, but able to be herself while doing so.

Quick quiz here for you:

1) You’ve got cool fashion sense.
2) Great taste in music.
3) You hang with the hippest friends at the hottest spots.
4) And you’re often the life of the party.

So, that makes you a "Cool Girl", right? Not necessarily.
Well, for starters, MEN DON’T MAKE SENSE. We don't give a crap about half those things. We don't care what you drive, what type of job you have, the fancy clothes, how many places you've been, and so much more that you "think" impresses us. Men, on the other hand, need to have all that materialistic bullshit to land 80% of you. The more you try and use logic and reason to figure us out, the more you’re going to become frustrated and upset.It may seem simple, but men think of women as "cool girls" when they see that a woman understands something that other women can’t even see going on. We see that a cool girl "gets it" on a level that lots of other women don’t. They demonstrate to men certain social and emotional understandings and ways of behaving that resonate deeply, without having to be talked about or explained. To put it another way, "cool girls" exude positive emotional energy that men can relate to. They are naturally the kind of women who every man is inexplicably drawn to, even if they dont look like a supermodel. It's something you either have or not.
Signs of not being a "cool girl":
Has a man ever accused you of being too emotional, moody, spoiled, or worse – maybe some guy actually called you hysterical or needy? or even a "stalker type"? Whatever he called you, it was the start of him closing off or getting irritated with you and things going wrong in the conversation. Some times, its best to just stop there! but some of you push and push til there's no return. In fact, it’s standard behavior for most men to react to a woman with withdrawal or frustration in these kinds of conversations.

Is it the right thing for a man to do? Obviously not, but you might be forgetting that WE DONT MAKE SENSE! I’m not saying that honesty isn’t important or that you’re not entitled to feel how you feel But, in order to make a relationship work, it’s CRITICAL for you to understand that men simply aren’t wired the same way that women are when it comes to connecting on an emotional level. We open up, connect, and become emotionally committed in different ways, and for different reasons than most women do.

Unfortunately, lots of women never really learn what these differences are… so they go about trying to build a connection, attraction, and a lasting relationship with a man by doing what they think works for them.
It’s time to change the ways a man often responds to you with frustration,
instead, learn what will get him to finally and at long last listen, learn, and connect with you on a deeper emotional level. The key is UNDERSTANDING the buttons that will cause most men to stop listening and withdraw and instead learn how to communicate directly and easily with the part of his personality and mind that’s open and receptive to love, affection, and connection with you. Men want love and to connect with a woman more than they like to show…
The Man

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