Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The Confusion of Internet Dating

The confusion of Internet dating is killing me, but I think I have figured out a few facts. Most Internet profiles make what you are looking for seem objective (based on data in the profile) when actual connection is made, it becomes extremely subjective. It's this illusion of objectivity that doom us. When online these people are just what we're looking for,and our same interests. The issue is that due to the security and getting to know someone factor, we talk way too much before meeting. For most it's so much prior information that there's little room for discovery. And once you see a flaw in the other person, the fantasy is ruined.So instead of giving the person a chance, you go home and log on to the computer to find someone else who looks good on paper. It's just too easy! go home, click a button, write an email, and it's either a date, or not. It's not just too much information that makes online dating confusing- it's too many choices. As soon as you send an e-mail to a potential mate, the 'mail sent' confirmation screen automatically flashes the message "Take a look at other members with profiles like [the person you just e-mailed]" - then show you several more people who might interest you. Before the first person even receives your e-mail, you're given new choices to consider" . Then there are "The jugglers" (those who were managing 15 or more communications at once) were writing very bad-quality e-mails to each other. If you had to write 20 e-mails, how good could they be?. When these people over-juggle, they don't have the attention to give to the one person who would really work best for them.But because they don't know who that one person is, they keep juggling and end up with nobody.
What ever happened to just getting to know someone? Everything these days has to be the easy way! But lets be honest,with online dating, one isn't contacted or responded to unless the other person looks at your picture and thinks, "Yeah, I'd go there." So, it starts with lust, and if we're lucky, ends in romance. Who are we kidding, we are looking at their best photos, at the best angles, and imagining how they are speaking to us as we read their emails. We have already perceived their body language, their tone, and their expressions. Internet dating is not for the close-minded, everyone has their "types" but can you actually tell if this is your "soul mate" from a few messages and a couple brief phone conversations? Doubtful.... but we sure do get our hopes up.
The Man

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