Monday, September 13, 2010


It seems in life we can never get away from tests. We are tested to see if we are fit to be in the "cool" group, for some of us our faith is tested when love ones get sick, and of course we are tested to see if we are worthy to be date the opposite sex. Do these tests in love really work? What are we testing for? Is it to see if the other person has the balls to put up with our madness? Are we really testing to see if that person is the perfect companion? And what is the perfect person? Do we really want the perfect companion, and what really is the perfect person for us? These tests are really to prove that person is perfect for us. But do I really want the perfect person.
The perfect girl: You meet her in a bar, she's cute (especially after a few pints). At the bar you have the most engaging conversation, you have nothing to lose, maybe you will get lucky maybe you won't. You have a few more drinks, you go to her room, bang the crap out of each other, you leave, and both of you can barely remember the night before. Perfect! Neither of you have seen each other's vulnerabilities, imperfections, nothing. There is no "you keep leaving the toilet seat up" or, "it's your turn to take the dog for a walk", nothing!
Why do we insist on going through these battery of tests. Why do we find it necessary to write a handbook of "Hoops you must jump through before I will consider you"? Before committing to dating someone, they must obviously meet our requirements, but they should not have to get their PhD in perfection, because it just doesn't exist. The greatest thing in love is the person's imperfections, these are the things that create the memories and the good times. These are the things that make you smile for no reason, these are the things that make you miss her on a business trip. Love really is about compromise and tolerance, we can't always have things our way, we have to give a little.

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly”
- Sam Keen


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