Friday, April 30, 2010

To New Beginnings

I'm finally waking up from the broken dream. It's been a long time coming. A roller coaster of emotions over the last year. This time last year I felt like I was on top of the world and nothing could hurt me. Funny thing is one year later I feel the same way, but for very different reasons.
Whether I was clinically depressed for the last few months I'm not completely sure. I knew something was off. In public I would act normal, but inside I was far from fine. But, I didn't want to admit to myself that one person's actions could have such a severe effect on me. I so desperately wanted to come out of my sour mood, but as hard as I tried I just couldn't. I didn't think anyone noticed my sober attitude, but I was wrong. It might sound odd or silly perhaps, but after a brief conversation, a couple weeks ago with a co-worker, (who just went thru a bitter divorce) a part of the old me woke up. How something so minor could so quickly start to turn my life around is amazing. I've been living in my past when my present was wasting away. I suppose I needed that jolt of reality to bring me back to life.
I had moved across the country to get away from my past, but my new surroundings couldn't fix the pain that had been inflicted. Turns out only time can mend a broken heart. I have accomplished more in the last two weeks than I had in the last few months. For the first time I no longer think about him or us or what we were or question the past. I will never get an answer to a puzzling life and I must let it go, because he doesn't deserve my tears.
Today is a new day to a new life and a rather fitting ending to a roller coaster month. I can't believe it's only been a month since I started the blog and joined facebook. It feels like so long ago and yet now the days just fly by.
Thanks again everyone for the support and I hope you continue to follow our blog.

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