Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Mind of a Married Man

Can married men survive in modern times? There are more challenges, responsibilities, obligations and temptations these days. It seems like it's getting harder and harder for men and even some women to stay faithful. So what exactly is going on inside the mind of a married man? Why should we even try if the odds are against us?
I find the mind of a married man far more fascinating than a single man's. The short-lived HBO series gave us a glimpse of what married men are really thinking. You start to feel bad for these men, like they were blindsided into thinking that married life was the golden ticket when in fact it seems more like you signed a contract to have a second mother or annoying sister rather than a lifetime of hallmark memories and unlimited sex.
I often wonder how a man decides on "the one". You try various flavors throughout the years and you narrow down your preferences to a particular type, but then from there how do you know, really know this is the cream of the crop. That this is the only person that I want to sleep with until the day I die, regardless of how much weight they may gain or how annoying and petty they may become overtime.
By putting a ring on and saying vows it seems more like you are giving up life, as you once knew it. As we age, our priorities do change and having children and creating a family legacy move to the front of the line, but who we are as individuals doesn't change. Yet, it often seems that we sacrifice or compromise who we are and what we enjoy for the sake of others. Which I suppose is noble, but once you start to lose yourself the house of cards will soon follow.
I watched the movie The Way We Were for the first time a few months ago and afterwards I wondered was it really that simple? Do all women fall in one of two categories, the free spirited, and loud-mouthed Katie’s and the prim and proper JCREW models? Much like that of Carrie and Natasha in Sex and the City. The Natasha’s of the world are the safe choice; you know what to expect so as an investment it seems like a logical and smart choice. On the other hand Carrie is a wild card and while you may have more fun with her, as a lifetime investment she is far more risky.
Hubbell and Katie never get the fairytale ending, but you know they still love one another and always will. It's unfortunate that the differences that once brought them together ultimately drove them apart. Maybe some men don't want to have to work at a relationship even if the end result is well worth the effort. Knowing this however makes it easier to weed your way thru the pencil pushers and the daredevils.
Perhaps, Carrie said it best, "Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with." Sometimes you find out you are the lucky one. Remember Big and Natasha ultimately get divorced.

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