Monday, April 26, 2010

Love Warfare

When you are growing up why doesn't anyone tell you that love is complicated. In elementary school boys were considered a foreign species. By middle school our opinion of the opposite sex is changing and while they maybe annoying pranksters at times we are starting to develop crushes and coupling up. In high school, if you weren't dating someone you were in the minority. It was rather unfair given that the majority of attractive guys were the jocks and in my school if you weren't a cheerleader or a dizzy blond you were basically invisible.
I had my first kiss when I was fifteen and it was far from romantic. It was wet and sloppy, felt like I was getting French kissed by my dog. If anything I walked away that night hoping I would never have to experience that horrible event again. I met my first "boyfriend" when I was in seventh grade. He is still as gorgeous as I remember. He wasn't like the other boys. He had class and romance. If there were such a thing as a perfect guy he would be up there. The first time he tried to hold my hand, I freaked out and was so repulsed by the sheer thought of such a public display of affection.
Even at such a young age, why is it that we will feel we must show our "taken" status? Are we subconsciously insecure or is it purely innocent? Even back then it felt like everyone was looking for their next true love. At least in our bubbled youth, life wasn't complicated with the whole harry met sally sex factor.
In relationships, I am usually the one who loves more than the other and I am the one who gets kicked to the curb every single time. I feel like such an ass.
No one tells you that once you meet a boy, there’s no guarantee that once he likes you, he’ll always like you. You’re always going to be trying to figure out if you can live with the other, the good, the bad and all the in-betweens. I’m a very forgiving and accommodating person, so for the chance at receiving love, I pretty much overlook most things as long as you’re not a serial killer or pedophile.
All the fairytales, romantic comedies, and stories I grew up with told me the same story: the boy meets the girl and falls madly in love and they live happily ever after. They don’t warn you that relationships require a lot of work, blood, tears, compromises, laughter, misunderstandings, patience, and good and bad sex. You have to be lucky enough to find someone who fits you as well and is willing to stick around to see it through. John and I fit in so many ways, but at the same time our personalities were so opposite that we were doomed from the start.
Love is never equal, but you can try to find someone who takes turns getting the shorter end of the stick with you—that way no one always wins or loses all the time.

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