Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Curtain Call

If the dance is where you get seduced I think we need a refresher course or are we dancing to a silent beat? It's much easier to let life be and go with the flow. But, the groundhog nature of the daily grind makes life feel more like a long and painful death than chapters of happiness.
I keep to myself more often these days because I figure the fewer people I allow in the less possible chances I have to get stabbed in the heart.
Which also doesn't make for much in the writing department. I have been spending much of my lonely nights sketching up designs and ideas for the new site and clothing. I don't know what I would do without this pet project. It seems to be the only thing that causes me happiness and a smile these days.
We have learned how to be together without actually being together or speaking. Which is much easier to do than I imagined, yet much more frustrating and questionable. At a certain point the desire and interest expired and the burden of knowing and not knowing was thrown out. Almost as quickly as the burning candle was lit.
I fear opening the box again because the contents have changed. Rejection at this stage very well might destroy me. But, why I wonder. Do I fear being alone? Did I let go of the rope too quickly or has the show made its final curtain call?

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