Monday, January 9, 2012

Brutally Honest Liar

You all ready for more? I'm excited to hear about Love Bite's getting a makeover to be an online magazine, it just keeps getting better aye? Possibilities are endless! Alrighty... 2012 has started, I'm off and running with no shortage of rambling.

Happy New Year to all! For me, this is going to be another year of changes. All for the good I am sure! This year has started off great and I've been on a new adventure of dating single dads. I was so frustrated with the online dating, and stuck on my last relationship and the one that got away. So when I had basically given up and stopped looking someone else took a chance. It was an awkward meeting, our kids have known each other for the last year. Yet we had never met, until we were seated next to each other in a restaurant and the kids were so excited and wanted to have a play date.

And it took off from there. He seemed nice, we put our kids in daycare for New Years Eve night and got to hang out with some of his friends for dinner and celebrate at midnight with champagne. The kids got to have a sleepover and we got to continue celebrating. We had multiple play dates and the kids get a long so well, and so did we. But I'm so over it. He told me that he had been dating someone, he said it was "nothing serious". What a bunch of b.s. The other night he referred to her as his "girlfriend". It's clear he wants to keep his girlfriend, but have his own little play dates on the side. I've been in that situation before. This time I'm not up for it.

Why can't people just be honest?!?! I am honest, sometimes brutally honest. Unfortunately, those nice guys that actually listen and seem to care they really do finish last. I am completely unattracted to those nice guys. My heart goes pitter-patter for the man, who in the end will end up being the biggest ass of all. I've tried to like those nice guys, but I cannot lead someone on when I don't feel any chemistry. I have tried to have male friends, but I've found time and time again they are just being friends with me because they want to be more than friends. I'm tired of it, I need to either become a lesbian or befriend a group of gay men. Something has got to give.

I want the fairy tale. The one that I have always believed in. Though I have seen no proof that it even exists. I still search, I have faith. It's like video poker, you get so close to winning big and every time you loose you just "know" your going to win the next time. So you keep playing on a vicious cycle, believing that next time you'll be the one. Sometimes you win a little, it keeps you going believing and feeling stronger. Other times just hearing about someone else winning gives you faith that it's still out there and that your time just hasn't come yet.

I am caught in the middle somewhere. It all seems endless, dark and empty. Though I am still faithful to this elusive ideal, I feel hopeless right now. So, again I will set focus on myself to retrieve my inner happiness. I love myself and who I am whole heartedly. I like to feel that I let go of the past easily, but everything that has happened is a part of who I am today. My heart has never been broken (though possibly a little chipped) it has only been made stronger.

Hot Mama (Love Bites Guest Writer #2)

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business!
In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Think before you post a comment. With that in mind, we love comments, even the rude ones and remember whatever you write on here will live on forever.