Sunday, May 1, 2011

Breaking Bad

I knew once this happened for me so much would change...At the beginning I wrote whatever was on my mind without a care in the world. There were things I said that may have hurt some, made others evaluate themselves, and made others mad, but I spoke my mind freely. I once picked on "McDreamy" for opening up on here about his new found relationship. I told him now that he's in a relationship, he would hold back from his feelings and be more sensitive about what he writes. I knew this were all so true and he entered a whole new thing when he pronounced his feelings to thousands on this blog. Relationships are hard enough between two people, but yet now my thoughts/writings need to be sensitive to not hurt her as well. It was tough enough that she was able to read my past, now she can see into my present thoughts as well. As many of you read I recently met someone special. I am usually a very private person (off the blog) but I stepped out of my comfort level. I did things that broke my "rules" (friends on Facebook, relationship changes, posted songs,and pronounced my feelings to hundreds) and although I knew it was wrong, I did all of this without thinking twice. Many of my friends were shocked, to say the least!, but I did it and was happy about it. I now feel the distance between us has her a bit worried.
"Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough"
I once wrote about long-distance relationships, and what I thought would make them work. They are tough! and require much more work than the ones close, but given the right circumstances, they can become reality. Nothing is easy... I will not be writing about "us", but now I think that some of what I write may be taken out of context. All I will say is I always thought that there was this one perfect person for everybody in the world, you know, and when you found that person the rest of the world kind of magically faded away, and, you know, the two of you would just be inside this kind of protective bubble, but there is no bubble, I mean if there is you have to make it, I just think life is more than a series of moments, you know, we can make choices, and we can choose to protect the people we love, and that's what makes us who we are and those are the real memories. The fact of the matter is that I write on a blog with close to 50,000 can read about my past relationships, the women I thought were "the one," my screwed up thoughts about relationships, and the words/feeling I used to describe how I felt in the past. A very select number of readers know exactly who I am, and even those very few don't know everything. I refuse to write about my thoughts/feelings about my current relationship. I am already judged upon my past and that hasn't worked in my favor. Like I said, I broke many rules, and not that I have "changed" for someone, but I don't want my writings taken out of context. I will forever have words on a blog that can never be erased. In all honesty, a woman loves to see a man profess his love to thousands, but I only need to make you happy, not all the readers, and Facebookers. When a couple, whether it's a dating relationship or marriage, decides to go through a long distance relationship, things can get a bit tough. Constant worries and frustrations about being apart from your loved one can change relationships. But for real couples in committed long distance relationships,circumstances can be changed by trust, honesty, and sacrifice.
I have so much to write about, and I will continue to try my best to give my point of view. I am glad so many are happy to see there is hope out there for us. We both know so little about the thoughts of a man or woman, but with time, will slowly begin to understand and eventually love the differences.
The Man

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