Sunday, February 13, 2011

The Pickup Artist

Why do most men fail miserably when it comes to approaching attractive women? Most of the time, it's because they never learned how to stand out from the crowd when a hundred other guys are trying to do the same thing. Want the edge you need to make her notice you instead of them... without using lame lines or cheap come-ons? Here are the top 10 ways to make it happen:

1. Take control
No doubt about it... the first thing an attractive woman will do when you approach her is see if she can control and intimidate you. The second thing she'll do is ignore you when she finds out that she can. But use Cocky and Funny, show confidence, use the right body language, etc., and she'll quickly notice you because YOU are taking control. Sure, this confuses her, but it also gets her attention by transmitting a message loud and clear: "I'm the one who's in charge. Feel free to come along if you want." Communicate that to a woman, and she'll see right away that you're different than 99.99% of other guys. She'll immediately respect you and want to know more about you. In other words, she'll feel ATTRACTION for you -- and as you know, that's what everything I teach is all about.

2. Master your body language
This is really basic, 101 stuff, but it's huge. I've said it a million times: when you're approaching a woman, your body language is more important than the words you use. Most men use submissive, apologetic body language and voice tones that look as if they're begging and pleading with a woman to give them approval... and these men INSTANTLY come across as wussies. There's no faster way to kill attraction. Instead, project that you have killer confidence (see #8.) Lean back. Give her space. Act like you're not concerned at all about whether or not she's going to like you because, you know what? You shouldn't be.

3. Be Direct
Here's the thing... most guys use "trickery" and long-winded, boring conversation to get info about a woman. Don't do it. Don't make the mistake of trying to figure out some slick way to get her to share something about herself, or to go do something with you. If you want to know something, just ask her straight out. If you want to spend time with her, don't just ask for a date. Tell her that you're doing something later and that she's free to join you. Believe me, you'll take her aback and set yourself apart. Be classy as well as direct, and you'll get where you want to go much, much faster.

4. Use Her "Negativity" To Your Advantage
Women will often test you by turning the conversation in an intentionally negative direction, often by complaining about themselves. When they do, be ready for it: it's a GREAT opportunity for you. Instead of playing along (and sounding wussy) use Cocky and Funny to spark and ramp up attraction. Just take what she's saying and turn it up a notch. For example, if she says: "My dress makes me look too fat," just reply, "You know, I wasn't going to say anything, but..." If she says her hair's a mess, say, "Maybe you'll look better tomorrow." Point is: she's expecting you to be just another wussy and kiss up to her. When you DON'T, you'll immediately stand out from the crowd.

5. Get Her Number And Get Out
One of the best ways to make a woman sit up and take notice is to disappear after you get her number. So, early on in the conversation, ask her if she has e-mail. When she says yes, tell her: "Great, I've got a few things to do, but I'd really like to chat more with you later. Here, write your email down. Oh, and your number, too." You'll be shocked how many attractive women will respond positively. At that point... take the info and leave. If you do, you'll leave her wanting more instead of wanting to run for the door. Plus, you'll find the encounter so painlessly quick and effective, it'll instantly build you confidence to approach even more women.

6. Have A Game Plan
Feeling unprepared to start a conversation with a woman is the best way to blow it when you do. So it's a no-brainer... same as with the awkward silence, have a few topics to start the conversation in your back pocket as well, and mentally rehearse them. The ones that work best are the simplest: "Hey, what are you drinking?" "Hey, are you from around here?" I realize that these sound way too simple, but that's the beauty of it. They're so simple... and natural... that they're disarming. They don't come across as lame, canned "pickup lines," and they help you figure out quickly if the woman you're talking to might be receptive to you.

7. Avoid Awkward Silences
When a guys first starts talking to a woman (especially a very attractive one) he usually lets his emotions and insecurities get the best of him right off the bat. He starts to think, "I better impress her, and fast, or she won't give me a chance." The bad news is... you're right. The good news is... you can impress her the most just by avoiding awkward silence. If you begin to feel it happening, just keep things moving... but casually. Tell a funny story about something that happened to you when you were a kid. Make fun of famous people. Whatever. Have something ready and do it. It's got to be better than that painful, awkward silence.

8. Project Confidence
Imagine how you'd come across if you were the most confident guy on the planet. You'd seem so in control that you'd be in no rush. You'd never talk too fast or too much, since all of that screams "I'm a nervous wussy". You'd move, gesture and speak slowly and deliberately. You'd pause often, and ditch the anxious, twitchy gestures, laughs, ticks, etc. You'd never break eye contact unless a woman does first. All of this projects killer confidence, and you'll start to notice more women noticing you as you learn how to do it.

9. "Rehearse" Your Game Online
Come on... why risk blowing it with a woman live and in-person, when you can practice "rejection-free" all you want first? Go online and practice making sure you don't bore women with your normal, boring comments and normal, boring questions. Instead, start being direct. Showing confidence. Asking for numbers and telling women that you're swamped with a million messages from supermodels so they better act fast or you'll be gone. Master Cocky and Funny from the comfort of your keyboard, and you'll be much better at it when you try it in the "real world."

10. Improve Yourself
Are you approaching women with the best version of yourself? Somehow I doubt it. The sad truth is most guys don't take ANY time at all to improve themselves. Ever. But if you really want to get an attractive woman to notice you, you better be one of the few who stand out because he took the time to develop something uniquely interesting in himself. So get on it... Take classes. Read books. Exercise. See classic films. Start investing in yourself, and you'll be on the fast path to success with the women you really want.

I thought the information was honest and could work for some of those guys wondering "How to make a woman notice you". You have to stand out from the rest, and give it a try. You really have nothing to loose. I have found that funny works as well just don't make jokes about them instead joke about you. For example...think about the guy from the movie Hangover, he's getting all the chubby dudes laid now. Have fun, take risks, and don't look back.
The Man

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