Tuesday, August 30, 2011

To Follow or Not To Follow

Yesterday's blog from the Queen of Mean got me thinking about my ex-files. I am still friends with my exes, with the exception of three. Of course none of them live in the same state and I haven't actually seen any in person since we broke up, but occasionally we chat on facebook. All of my exes (that I'm friends with) are now married with kids and when we broke up it was a mutual decision, mostly due to someone moving away for work.

The three I am not friends with are the ones that in hindsight were doomed relationships from the start. For starters there was MF who has become the mascot of all JSR douche bag exes. In the rulebook of manners and plain old common sense he managed to royally fuck up being friends and then some. The only good thing to come out of briefly being friends with him again is Love Bites. It just took someone to piss me off beyond what I ever thought was possible.

The second ex is someone I still have contact with, but not by choice these days. Thankfully we have come to a point now where we really just don't care about each other's personal lives. Which makes being civil possible for at least a few minutes.

The third ex I tried really hard to be friends with afterwards, but it was a one sided attempt to maintain a connection and friendship. Much like the short-lived relationship this too failed miserably.

One day we were the best of friends the next it was like we never knew each other. After a few months of space I was at a place where I didn't have any romantic feelings for him, but missed our witty banter. We were no longer friends on Facebook (my decision) and he had just started using Twitter so I became a follower of his. For me it was a harmless gesture meant to be like an olive branch. I don't know why it mattered so much, but I wanted him to 'follow' me back and the next day he did. Even though we hadn't spoken, I thought it was a step in the right direction.

If you follow Love Bites on Twitter (@LoveBitesMF) you know we tweet a lot and most of the time our tweets are silly. But, then again Twitter is a silly concept anyhow, so who cares.

For the first week I found myself basically cyber stalking his profile page. I don't know why or what exactly I was hoping to find. About a week later I noticed he had unfollowed my account without ever making contact. I had never tried to start a conversation, but now I was pissed off. Why even follow me in the first place? Why unfollow me? What did I do? (But, much like how we ended I never found out and honestly I don't care anymore. Our personalities are worlds apart which at first was part of the attraction, but eventually it just become frustrating and annoying.)

I let it pass. It was a stupid idea to begin with. I wondered if that was the point of his silent gesture of f____you. To see how I would react. Because in the past I probably would have made a big deal about the seemingly innocent action. Instead I just continued along trying to forget about his sorry ass. Another couple weeks pass and one day I get an auto notice saying he was following me again. WTF I thought. Still didn't make contact, but now I did make sure at least one tweet made by me each day was secretly about him.

After a few days of spending way to much time thinking about him and wanting to talk to him I realized just how ridiculous and crazed I was making myself over someone who should mean nothing and whom I shouldn't be friends with anyhow. So I unfollowed him, stopped looking at his profile page completely, erased his phone number, blocked his email address and even though we haven't spoken I am finally at peace with the messy breakup and happy for him and whatever the future holds.

Maybe one day we will speak again, until then sleep well my friend.

Night y'all. I need my beauty sleep for Sin City. 6-day countdown to 72 hours of epic greatness recorded for the masses. Which will require 10 pairs of heels, 8 dresses, lots of jewels and 1 BFF. Something’s in life are priceless.


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