Thursday, August 18, 2011

Cultural Differences

Whether we would like to admit it or not, we are all a product of the environment we grew up in. Our political view, religious belief and marital dreams are typically an example of our upbringing.
Like my parents I am a democrat. I am half Jewish, half Catholic. The last time I was in a temple was my Bat Mitzvah. I couldn't tell you when any religious holiday is or what it stands for, except Hanukkah and Christmas (selfishly it's all about the gifts). I have been in a church three times in my life for a total of one hour.
I played with G.I. Joe and Transformer toys when I was a child. I never had a Barbie doll, but I liked Rainbow Brite.
I've had the same last name for the last twenty-nine years and I don't intend to change it if I'm married. I have no desire to be a soccer mom or Stepford wife. Maybe one day if the timing is right I will get married, but it's not a priority and assuming there is a nanny involved I would like to have children one day.

The reason I bring up family and traditions is because I recently met a seemingly wonderful man. He was kind, affectionate, caring, generous, close to his family, was self employed, owned property, cars and was supposedly debt free.
He was born and raised in Europe and only moved to America six years ago. I have never dated a foreigner and was naive to the cultural differences and traditional beliefs. Which after spending more time with him became major turn offs. In addition to his serious case of OCD, belief that no woman can make his coffee the correct way, use of a handicap parking permit for no reason other than laziness, liked to gamble a lot and always started unnecessary arguments with wait staff.
Normally all these personality differences would have been the end all, but what actually turned me off the most was his family beliefs and traditional view towards marriage and kids.
Marriage was a mandatory for him. Ideally in the next year. Kids were an absolute. The husband is the head of the household and makes all the final decisions. While the wife stays at home with the kids and cleans and basically has to ask permission to drive the family car and is given a weekly salary which I have a feeling does not allow for Jimmy Choos.
There was also a long list of things I adored about him. But, the more I thought about it and the life I would be signing up for I realized it wasn't a life I ever wanted and why I even allowed myself to imagine it is a question for my therapist. So in the end it turns out I wasn't questioning the meaning of his 'maybe' response, but rather my own. Which ultimately turned into a 'no.'

No comments:

Post a Comment

Think before you post a comment. With that in mind, we love comments, even the rude ones and remember whatever you write on here will live on forever.