Monday, August 22, 2011

Queen of Mean

I must be the queen of random asshole-guy emails! This is hilarious. I wish I had met that guy so I could have slugged him in the eye! I have many a story to tell--including insight, wisdom, whatever you want to call it--and am happy to share. Glad you laughed! (read the blog titled Disclosure from July 2011)

I'm just a normal, intelligent, attractive, sports-loving, girl-next-door type, who's been burned more than I care to remember. I've been cheated on, lied to, left for no good reason at all, and called twice in the last few years by ex-boyfriends who are getting married. And they called to tell me that. I've dabbled in some online dating, which is where, by freak chance, I came to know one of the Love Bites writers. I'm not out for blood, but you know what they say, "what goes around, comes around."

Recently, I had a moment of weakness and rejoined a dating website. That lasted a week. I’ll tell you why.

I was pretty blunt about what I was looking for on my profile. I don’t want to date a slacker, a surfer, or a Starbucks barista. Is that really asking too much? Well, perhaps my honesty was my strongest and weakest point. I received over 800 “views” in that week, and approximately three emails I felt even warranted a response.

One gentleman, who seemed decent looking, educated, and employed, contacted me, so I emailed back.

He then asked to call me, because he preferred to talk than email. I was ok with that (note: I am still in my optimistic state of dating website renewal). We talked on Sunday afternoon, and agreed to meet on Thursday of that week. I had proposed Tuesday so that I could meet him and decide quickly if he was worth my time, but he shot that down. Thursday it was.

On Tuesday—my originally proposed meet date—he sent me a text in the afternoon. It was a picture. Of himself. Flying his Cessna. To Catalina.

Are you kidding me?

Not only was I not impressed, but what the hell? I talked to the guy once, and all of a sudden, he is updating me on every move he makes? Text: lunch on Catalina! Text: Catalina as I left it (picture, again). Um, excuse me, but I don’t even know you. And this was the day you couldn’t meet, because you had a date with YOURSELF?

Did I mention he told me he had been on that dating website for two-and-a-half years?!

I responded, politely, “fun day!”

The texts kept coming over the course of the evening and into Wednesday. I waited until the very last minute on Thursday to cancel our date. Especially considering I had gotten a text every morning that said, “Good morning, beautiful. Happy [fill in day].” Really? What do I even say to that? Oh wait, “I’VE NEVER MET YOU SO STOP TEXTING ME.”

The best one was (with an accompanying picture of himself, of course), “drinking coffee by the coast, hard life! LOL.” Oh, come on!

Needless to say, he kept on with the texts. I actually did have plans the next couple nights, so I legitimately couldn’t meet up with him, but at this point, I had already decided I didn’t want to meet him. The last text came in about 10 days after we never met, and I just deleted it.

Am I a bitch? No, but he certainly didn’t go about “pursuing” me in the right way. So men, don’t go crazy with the texts…especially if we’ve never met. If you want to see me, call me, ask nicely, and leave it at that. This isn’t a basketball game. Your self-righteous texts aren’t worth two points. They’re not even worth one.
Queen of Mean

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