Monday, November 7, 2011

Why Do Exes Come Back Around?

It's been quite some time since my last entry in the blog, but recently we asked for some ideas. Some were interested in "Why do ex's come back around?” one I heard a while back "friends to lovers & back to friends (will it ever work)" and one I tried a few times "long distance relationships"

I may not have the answers you're looking for, but we all have a different ways of dealing with these issues. Remember, I’m a guy and that my way of thinking differs from most women’s thoughts on these experiences, but that's why I'm here. The major issues are due to the fact Women and Men have totally different thought processes. I, at times even stand alone from most of them as well. I am brutally honest, and will at times say things that most think, but are too chicken shit to say.

First of all, you may have stumbled upon this page by accident or heard about it by friends, but the one thing is that you're here, and something we've said, you related to. We're glad you're here and hopefully we can all figure out some answers you've been looking for. For all the new readers, I’m a 30 something bachelor, some say cute, who was engaged but things just didn’t seem to work out, and have been on the hunt for Mrs. Right for the last three years. I have been on hundreds of dates, some good, some bad, but have learned more than most of you will in a lifetime. It just seems the dating world, and people have changed so much. Everyone wants the "real deal" but expect it to be handed to them. I work my ass off to find Mrs. right. I change where I shop, the places I eat, and work the Internet like a madman! If you think, "good things come to those who wait", best of luck to you and your forever single life. No one is just going to knock on your door and say, "I know you've been waiting, and you've been good, so let me make your dreams come true". So many think guys suck! And say, " show me one who is different than all the rest".... Well, you're already tainted! You're going into it looking for a guy to prove you wrong... you're already judging us on your past relationships, and you hold a bit of resentment before it starts. Why the hell do guys have to prove anything to you????? Why don't you prove us YOU'RE DIFFERENT?? Truth: we don't really give a fuck!! If we like you, it doesn’t matter what happened in our past. Every relationship is different, and offers a little something new each time. Don’t let the scars of your past carry over. It’s already hard enough for us guys... We have to have a great job, a decent car, we can't live at home (like most of you do), and so much more. Sure some of us know these factors and put on an act (for a little while), but isn’t that what you wanted with all that pressure??? Come on!! Go into things with a clear head, and hope for the best. If nothing comes out of it, you'll at least learn a little more about yourself. Don't set "rules”; this will limit the already tough job of finding your true happiness.

I have been dating for about 3 years now and have entered every relationship clear-minded and open to the thoughts "whatever happens happens". I don’t care what you drive, what clothes you wear, what job you have, or any of the factors that are "deal-breakers" for most superficial bitches. Opps, I said it.... suck it up buttercup! Am I a poor guy? Nope! But guess what? I can see those women a mile away, and I know exactly what it takes to score with you. I can read your every move, and constantly judging your body language, I can tell within the first 30 min if you're taking me back to your place, if this is relationship material, or just a waste of time. I’m rambling because I just laugh at so many with their "pity me" stories and it's really their own close-minded thoughts that keep them single! Well, back to the reader’s questions: "Why do ex's come back around?" There are plenty of factors why we do this. It’s as simple as this: Some come back because they realize leaving was a mistake. Others come back because they think it's easy to get back with some one old than to start fresh with some one new. Sure there are many other reasons/excuses but its a simple concept... We all like the comfort of the known. We know your issues, as do you know ours, we had a past, and think whatever separated us is not that big of a deal to leave you forever. Just make sure you hear them out on their reasoning, and question them upon it as well.

Now here goes a tricky one "can friends become lovers, then part as friends again"? This all depends on your mentality. Can you handle it? Everyone’s mindset is different, and for one, someone cares more than the other. 90% of the time it's the guy who wants to break this type of relationship off, and sad to say, he cares less. Sure there's always exceptions, but deep down, someone will be hurt and things rarely return to normalcy again. Eventually the two of you part, and as time goes on, eventually stop talking all together.

Here's one I wrote about in the past: Long distance relationships, can they work? Of coarse then can for some, but the truth of the matter is that we all want our loved ones close to us. I would say that these types of relationships last longer when you meet someone, and they need to transfer for work, or another situation. The relationships that start from long distance are tougher, and eventually someone needs to move closer to maintain a relationship. With both of these, TRUST & COMMUNICATION is the key! So many solders have amazing women waiting for them. So sure, it could work, but just know what you can handle before entering.

So to break it down.... You need to be free of the past before entering the future. Give everyone a chance, and your results will be different. Try new things, and get new results. Break down your walls, and build bridges, know your self worth! Never lower your standards for anyone. When you say you are going to break the chains that bind you and happiness will find you, remember the words of Thoreau "Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.
The Man

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